


August to November

by BringingGeekyBack



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, F/F, First Impressions, Graduate School, Hollstein - Freeform, One-sided set up?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-09 02:44:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 32,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10401972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BringingGeekyBack/pseuds/BringingGeekyBack
Summary: Carmilla fails to make a good impression on Laura the night they meet at a university function. But they keep running into each other, so they can't avoid each other. You know, a typical hate-at-first-sight AU.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again. This is something I've been struggling with for almost a year, but I was determined to finish it, and I finally have! It was mostly a writing experiment for myself, and my wife insisted I post it. So if you like it, she deserves all the thanks. I'll post this in four parts. But it's complete on my end.

August was Laura's favorite month. The air in August hovered near stifling hot but by the end of the month, contained the promise of reprieve as it prepared to hand over summer to fall—the two seasons she always looked forward to the most as a kid. The first because it meant a break from school, and the second because of the promise of a new year. This particular August night delivered everything she loved about the month and more because, due to an unusually cool July in Silas, the fire flies emerged a few weeks later than they usually did and she could see them dancing in the dusky, warm sky.

It was a shame she had to watch it all from the window of the university's presidential mansion while holding a tray of red and white wine, which she offered to some of the university's elite. School didn't start up again for another week, but Perry called her and offered her the chance to earn a some extra cash and possibly get a chance to network with the university's most influential alumni and donors. But in the her black button up and with the tray in her hand, she was mostly ignored, unless someone wanted one the the glasses of wine she was holding. At least the money was good, she thought to herself as she took a moment to look outside and watch the way the sky sparkled as the fire flies danced around outside. 

She must have lingered by the window too long because she heard a sigh behind her, followed by Perry's voice. 

"Laura, what are you doing? Quit staring out the window and go find people to serve."

Laura should have been more apologetic. Perry had done her a favor in including her tonight, but she hated being here, with these people who paid attention to her only long enough to register what was on her tray before returning to their conversations. It wasn't a networking night for her. But she mumbled an apology and returned to the task at hand, offering a forced polite smile as they took a drink from her tray. 

An unnamed man in a suit grabbed her last glass of wine from her tray, so Laura walked over to the bar where her friend LaFontaine was filling glasses for the servers to take onto the floor. LaFontaine was talking to a young woman, who wasn't adorned in the required black shirt and pants, which meant she must have been one of the invited guests. Whoever she was, she was making LaFontaine laugh so hard their face had turned bright red. 

"Oh hey, Laura," LaFontaine said when they registered her presence. Laura placed her empty tray on the stack forming on her left. "How's it going out there?"

Laura answered with a sigh, shooting her eyebrows up high into her forehead, an expression which she knew LaFontaine would understand and then laugh at her for. 

"It can't be all that bad, Cutie," she heard the girl say. It was at that point that she actually looked at her, and for a moment Laura Hollis, the girl who'd been told repeatedly as a child that she talked too much by all of her teachers and friends, was speechless. The young woman had dark hair that was pulled neatly into a bun at the top of her head, which served to highlight the features of her face, which were stunning. She wasn't convinced that Helen would have been blamed for starting the Trojan War if this woman had been there. Laura had admired plenty of beautiful women. Hell, she'd managed to bed a couple of very beautiful women, but this woman was in a league of her own. "You get bump elbows with some of the most important people in Silas." 

Laura paused. She couldn't tell if this girl was being serious or sarcastic. But Laura felt the sting of being treated like the help all night, so she wasn't in a state to give any one of them the benefit of the doubt. Especially when this stranger felt she had the right to belittle her by calling her "Cutie," as if she was a show pony or prized doll. 

"A little full of yourself?" Laura asked. Two hours into this event and she was not amused. She didn't care how beautiful this person was. 

The woman smirked and looked over to LaFontaine who couldn't contain their laughter. The woman then took a sip from the glass of wine in her hand. 

"Laura," LaFontaine said. "This is Carmilla Karnstein." 

Laura stared at LaFontaine, waiting for them to elaborate, while the woman—Carmilla—took another sip of wine and winked at Laura, eliciting an eye roll from the server. 

LaFontaine watched the scene before them and couldn't hold back a smirk at the whole exchange. But when Laura provided no evidence she knew what LaFontaine was even talking about LaFontaine couldn't hold back her own eye roll. 

"This event is in honor of Carmilla's mom's promotion from Dean to President," they added. 

Laura's eyes shot back up into her forehead and all the heat from the August air seemed to rush to her ears. But she panicked only for a brief moment before she composed herself. "I'm sorry for being rude," she mumbled under her breath. And before Carmilla or LaFontaine could say anything else, Laura took her next tray of wine and walked back into the crowd. 

"So that was Laura?" Carmilla asked, turning around to face her friend after taking a moment to watch Laura retreat. "The same Laura you and Perry have been talking up for the last year."

LaFontaine shrugged their shoulders and then handed Carmilla another glass of wine. "She can be a little feisty," they conceded. 

Carmilla raised her left eye brow. "'A little'? I thought she was going to kill me with the power of her glare."

"Aw. Poor Carmilla. She finally met a girl who didn't immediately fall for her charm," LaFontaine teased. 

"Fuck off, LaF," Carmilla laughed and then took another sip from her glass. 

LaFontaine smiled and then, when another server came to exchange trays, they turned their attention away from Carmilla. Carmilla took her phone out of her clutch and began her phone ritual: email, Instagram, her fantasy baseball team (which she'd deny to anyone if they ever found out about it). She was checking the stats in the Red Sox-Rays game when she heard her mother's voice. 

"Carmilla," she hissed in a poorly disguised whisper and grabbed Carmilla's arm. "You're not here to chat with the hired help. Some of the most important people in the community are here and I expect my daughter not to hide out at the bar talking to the bar keep the whole night. This is a big night for me."

"Yes, mother. Sorry." Carmilla's response was rote but effective. She locked her phone and placed it back into her clutch and offered LaFontaine an apology by rolling her eyes and the raising her eyebrows up in a quick motion and followed her mother back into the crowd. 

The President—it would take some time for her to get used to that term after referring to her mother as the Dean for so many years—led Carmilla to a small group standing near a cruiser table. Carmilla noticed the presence of a gorgeous blonde woman next to a man who looked to be the most prominent member of the group. She looked to be around her age. The girl noticed her and didn't even attempt to hide the fact that she was checking Carmilla out. Carmilla responded with a slight twitch of her lips as she kept her eyes on the beautiful woman. Meanwhile, her mother diverted the man's attention and after she'd spoken to him, he looked past her shoulder to seek Carmilla out. 

“Carmilla," her mother said, “this is Congressman David Renchler."

The man smiled and extended his hand, which she took. ”Your mother tells me you just returned from studying at Oxford," he said. 

Carmilla smiled. It had been more than two years, but she still found the admiration of the institution of Oxbridge a little weird, especially around guys like this for whom the degree merited his immediate awe and respect of her. But she also knew Oxford was the card her mother was going to play all night when it came to introducing and flaunting Carmilla around to her friends. So she decided to play her part. "Yes, sir," she said. 

"I did my undergrad there—at Saint Peter's," he said. "Which college were you a part of?"

"Balliol." 

"Wonderful. Wonderful. I tried to get my daughter to apply but she wanted to stay closer to home," he said, using his head to point to the young woman standing just beside him.

Carmilla extended her hand. "Carmilla," she said when the girl's hand met hers. 

"Ell Renchler," she said. Carmilla kept her gaze on Ell's eyes and held her hand a little longer than was necessary. 

"And where did you decide to go instead?” Carmilla asked Ell. 

"Princeton," she answered. "But I did my MBA at Harvard." Her father beamed with pride beside her, while Carmilla tried not to judge this girl on the fact that she spent the best years of her life devoted to the study of Business. But she supposed Ell's course of study wouldn't matter for this one night. So she recovered quickly. 

"That sounds far more impressive than anything I've done," she lied. But Ell smiled, which proved she said the right thing. 

"And what do you plan on doing now?" the congressman asked. 

"Carmilla is beginning a doctoral program here at Silas," her mother answered. 

"Wanted to be closer to home?" the congressman asked. 

It took all of Carmilla's strength not to show any scorn or distaste at the idea. She knew her mother would pounce on her if she didn't answer this question correctly. 

"I can't deny that wasn't a major factor in my decision," she lied again, "but Silas also happens to have one of the best Political Philosophy programs in the country."

"A bit of a win-win," the congressman said, smiling in that trademark politician way. 

Carmilla swallowed but also remembered to smile. "You could say that," she managed to squeak out. 

"Carmilla, I think I saw an Edward Hopper painting in the foyer," Ell said, drawing the attention away from Carmilla for a moment. "Do you think you might be able to tell me more about it?"

Carmilla didn't know who Edward Hopper was, but Ell's invitation provided her a way out of this conversation, as well as a moment of quiet with a beautiful woman. "It would be my pleasure," she said, trying to hide the smirk that threatened to manifest from Ell's request. 

She led Ell towards the foyer, and when she was sure her mother could no longer see her, she turned to her companion and offered her thanks, followed by, "Who the hell is Edward Hopper?"

Ell laughed and placed her hand on Carmilla's arm. "He's not important," she purred into Carmilla's ear. 

At that same moment, Carmilla noticed Laura looking at her from about five feet away, drink tray in hand. Carmilla winked at her before turning her attention back to Ell, who she guided towards Laura and grabbed a glass of white wine from her tray. Her eyes lingered on Laura's long enough to see Laura roll her eyes, but Ell pulled her towards the foyer, away from where the server stood . 

"Is this party ever going to end?" Laura said to LaFontaine a couple of minutes later as she placed her not-quite empty tray onto the bar. The cocktail hour was winding down and the guests were beginning to make their way into the backyard where tables had been set under a giant white canopy. 

"After dinner I'm sure it will clear out. You'll get a break soon," LaFontaine said sympathetically. 

Laura concentrated on her breathing for a few moments to calm herself. She wasn't being the best sport, if she was being honest with herself, and neither Perry nor LaFontaine deserved her bad attitude. 

"My arms are really tired from holding that tray all night," she said by way of an excuse. She strived to herself to be better the rest of the night. 

LaFontaine smiled sympathetically, and then asked, "So what'd you think of my friend Carmilla?" 

Laura scrunched her eyebrows together as she regarded her friend. "Carmilla's your friend?" She'd thought Carmilla had simply come to the bar to refill her drink. She didn't know LaFontaine knew her. 

"Yeah. We were in the same dorm hall as freshman. She's the one who got us this gig tonight."

"Oh," Laura said. "I didn't know that."

"She seemed to make quite an impression on you," LaFontaine pressed, smirking as she dried off a wine glass with a white towel. 

Laura glared at LaFontaine before she sighed and smiled. "She called me 'Cutie' and I kind of lost it on her," she admitted. "I've been called 'cute' my whole life, so it's a bit of a trigger."

LaFontaine laughed. "I think she meant it as a compliment."

"Or she's a massive player who's arrogant enough to assume that that kind of flirting will lead to a hook up?"

LaFontaine furrowed her brows. "What are you—"

"I just saw her slinking off to a dark corner with some determined blonde on her arm," Laura said. "The girl was giving her her best 'fuck me eyes.' And then Carmilla caught me looking at the them and winked at me before she led said blonde away."

LaFontaine laughed again. "I guess a couple of years at Oxford didn't change much."

"Oxford?"

"She just finished a master's there. She was a Rhode's Scholar," LaFontaine explained. 

"Wait. Really?"

"Yeah. She's easy to hate: beautiful and brilliant."

"And a stuck-up elitist," Laura added. 

"Carmilla's not an elitist. Not by a long shot," LaFontaine quickly corrected. "But is she aware that she's gorgeous? Yeah. But she's not otherwise stuck up. She doesn't buy into any of this," they said, waving their arms in the general direction of the house. "You'll see," they added. 

Laura's eyebrow shot up. "I will?" she asked doubtfully. 

LaFontaine just smiled and shrugged their shoulders. "She sort of grows on you."

Laura didn't want to be rude, so she picked her tray back up, but before she left again, she said, "I'll take your word for it."

Carmilla and Ell were some of the last people to enter the dining area, and they found a couple of seats away from Carmilla's mother and Ell's father, which suited Carmilla just fine. She didn't expect her mother would care, and there wasn't an empty seat at her table, so Carmilla felt a sense of relief. 

A man walked up to the podium at the far end of the canopy. Carmilla thought he identified himself as the president of the Silas Board of Trustees, but she stopped listening before his finished his first sentence, so she wasn't sure. She was too busy staring at the back corner of the canopy, near a door that would lead to the room where LaFontaine's make-shift bar was, where Laura was standing, arms crossed against her chest, her eyes focused on the speaker. Carmilla watched as Laura's face revealed a series of emotions while the man spoke. She'd furrow her eyebrows and then shake her head and then roll her eyes and smile—but not approvingly. It was more of a smile of incredulity or disbelief. It was amazing how expressive her face was. If Carmilla ever spoke to her for any length of time, she would advise her never to play poker: she had too many tells. But Carmilla couldn't tear her eyes away. 

LaFontaine and Perry had mentioned her. They'd spoken of her acerbic wit, her tenacity, her brilliance in scholarship, her passion for truth and justice and equality. But they'd never spoken of her beauty—how her toffee-colored hair framed her face like a girl in a John William Waterhouse painting or the way her eyes reminded her of a soothing, warming shot of whiskey, the way her all-too-perfect lips seemed to invite her towards them. Carmilla couldn't stop looking at her. And it wasn't until Ell whispered in her ear that she tore her eyes away.

"Huh?" Carmilla inquired, looking now at Ell. She registered her voice in her ear, but she hadn't heard what she'd said. 

Ell smiled. "Your mother is speaking," she said. 

"Oh. Thanks." 

And Carmilla was thankful. She knew her mother would find her during her speech and would expect her rapt attention. So she listened without comprehending, thinking not about her mother's words but of the way she imaged Laura would be reacting to them. And when she turned to see if she was right, Laura was no longer in that spot by the corner, and a brief glance around the room didn't reveal where she was. She sighed, and it drew Ell's attention, but she ignored the congressman's daughter's silent question and returned her attention to her mother. 

Dinner was a buffet, which meant Laura didn't have to serve food. All that was required of her was to walk around with a bottle of white wine and look for glasses to refill. She was trying not to watch the clock, but she knew she had at least another hour to go before they could start to clean up and she could go home and get into her pajamas and continue the rest of the Peggy Carter-Natasha Romanov fanfic she was reading. 

Laura's rotation had taken her past Carmilla's table a few times, and each time she passed Carmilla stopped her and asked for Laura to refill her glass. Laura knew when she was being mocked. The first time Carmilla got her attention she winked at Laura and said, "Thanks, Cutie," quietly enough so that only Laura heard. The second time her services were summoned, Carmilla asked if her night had improved and then winked at her again. The third time she was stopped, Carmilla's glass was still more than half full, as if Carmilla's only purpose was to annoy her and/or remind Laura of the differences in their positions. Laura was, after all, the hired help, and she couldn't afford to tell this girl to fuck off like she wanted to. Laura was grateful when, on her fourth pass by the table, she found Carmilla's place empty. She couldn't help but notice that the beautiful blonde's place was vacant, too. 

Another forty-five minutes and the guests had mostly cleared out, and Perry's crew had been asked to begin cleaning so that the rest of the guests get the hint and start making their exits. Laura was in the process of dumping out half-drunk glasses of water and wine when LaFontaine found her. They looked a little rattled. 

"Is everything okay, LaF?" Laura asked. 

"Mostly," they answered, "but I have a huge favor to ask you." 

"Shoot."

"I'm only asking you because neither Perry nor I can leave until we're all done here," they prefaced. "But I need you to get Carmilla out of here. Before her mom sees her."

"I'm sorry, what?"

LaFontaine looked around to make sure no one could hear them and then they leaned closer to Laura and said, "She's completely drunk—"

"Shocking," Laura scoffed. With the amount of wine Carmilla drank tonight, she wasn't surprised the girl was wasted. 

LaFontaine ignored her. "She's completely drunk and I found her out in the garden with the girl she's been with all night and they were—It wasn't appropriate. And had I arrived five minutes later it would have been really bad," LaFontaine said, shuddering. 

"Anyway, I had to break it up because Carmilla's mom would lay into her pretty badly if she found Carmilla behaving like that—especially on a night like tonight, so we need to get her out of here."

"What about the other girl?" Laura asked. 

"I mean, she was pretty pissed at me that I stopped whatever was happening, but she didn't seem drunk. She didn't put up too much of a fuss after that and just left.

"Anyway, I know I'm asking you to move mountains, but I'm asking because I trust you and I'd trust Carmilla with my life, so I'm not putting either of you in danger and I need her somewhere safe and I don't trust that girl she was with at all, and—"

"LaF, what do you need me to do?" Laura asked, stopping LaFontaine's rambling. She already knew the answer, but she needed LaFontaine to confirm it. 

LaFontaine took a deep breath. "Could you take her home with you and make sure she doesn't choke on her own vomit or anything? I'll pick her up first thing in the morning," LaFontaine added quickly. "You can just put her on your couch. Knowing Carmilla she won't stir the whole night."

"I didn't drive here tonight."

"I already thought that through. I'm going to get Kirsch to drive you guys home. I figured you'd need help getting her into your place anyway."

"Can't I take her to your place?" Laura asked. She didn't want to wake up and have to deal with Carmilla. "Or why can't I take her to one of the bedrooms in this place? It's her mother's house now after all."

"No. Here is definitely not an option, and she can't go to my place because I won't be there until late tonight and I don't want her to be alone. Please Laura. I'll bring you breakfast and a mocha and you'll have my eternal gratitude."

"Ugh. Fine," Laura said. "But you're going to owe me big time. I don't even know this girl I'm inviting into my home. And I'm sure Danny is going to lecture me for two hours tomorrow when she finds out and, I mean, why are you so invested in her well being anyway?"

“She—" LaFontaine stopped and then shook their head. "I'll tell you the story sometime. Now's not the time, though. Perry's probably freaking out right now. But, um, you'll take her? We'll pay you for your entire shift," they added. "You don't have to worry about that."

Laura bit her lip and the sighed. "Where is she?"

LaFontaine smiled. "Follow me."

LaFontaine led Laura to the kitchen and opened the pantry door, where Carmilla was curled up on the floor using a jacket as a pillow and another one draped over her as a blanket. 

"LaF, you're sure this is all just the work of alcohol?" Laura asked, concern written all over her face. 

LaFontaine just shrugged. "I really hope so. I hate to think of what the alternatives would be."

Laura nodded when LaFontaine told her she was going to go get Kirsch. When it she was sure they were alone, she leaned over Carmilla's sleeping form and placed her index finger just under her nostrils to make sure the girl was still breathing and then let out a deep breath when it was confirmed that she was. Laura stood up after that to wait for Kirsch to arrive. 

About a minute later, Kirsch and LaFontaine returned. Kirsch greeted Laura and then bent over to pick Carmilla up from the pantry room floor. 

"Thanks so much for doing this, guys," LaFontaine said, as Kirsch walked by them. 

"No need to thank me," he insisted. "It's the duty of every Zeta to keep all hot chicks safe."

Laura shook her head but didn't correct him. She just wanted to be home, so she could get to bed and wake up and be rid of Carmilla. "I'll let you know when I get home. Text me tomorrow when you're on your way," she said to LaFontaine as she followed Kirsch out of the kitchen and into his car. 

Laura let Kirsch ramble on about who-knows-what, but his presence calmed her. Things were so simple for him, and she envied that. She'd met Kirsch not long after she met Perry and LaFontaine. He was a friend of theirs and he seemed to show up for important things: birthdays, Perry's volunteer projects, LaFontaine's game nights. His enthusiasm was infectious, and even if he rarely made sense, he was hard not to like. He never took himself too seriously, and it was a quality that Laura envied. 

"Hey, Kirsch," she said, interrupting a story about a Zeta rush who'd woken up one morning to find himself naked in the backyard of a neighboring sorority house. "Do you know Carmilla?"

"Yeah. A bit. We used to run into each other at these dinner parties Perry would throw in university."

"What do you think about her? LaFontaine talks about her like she's the second coming of Christ or something."

"I don't know her that well or anything," he said, shrugging his shoulders, "but she's always been cool with me."

"Huh," Laura huffed. 

"You're not convinced?"

"No. I don't think so. I'm actually not sure," Laura amended. "I just can't figure her out." 

Laura stared out the window as Kirsch passed the convenience store three blocks from her apartment. She was thankful he let the subject die after that. It wasn't until he put his car into park that he spoke again. 

"I'll help you carry her up," he said, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the door. 

Carmilla hadn't stirred the entire ride, and it was starting to freak Laura out. 

"I've seen a lot of drunk people," she mused out loud, "but none of them ever acted like this."

"She'll be okay once she sleeps it off," Kirsch assured her. Laura hoped he was right. Regardless of what she thought about her, she didn't actually wish her any harm. 

Kirsch carried Carmilla through to Laura's room, where he placed her on the bed. LaFontaine had told her to put her on the sofa, but Laura's mandate was to watch her, and she didn't want Carmilla to just up and disappear. LaFontaine would worry. And Laura was curious to know what happened to make Carmilla practically comatose for so long. Plus, she had her roommate Danny to consider, and she didn't want her to come home or wake up and find a complete stranger on her sofa. Danny was already going to flip her shit when she found out a stranger stayed at all. Laura didn't want to add anything to that lecture. 

"Do you need anything else?" Kirsch asked after he put her on the bed.

Laura looked at Carmilla. She was still wearing her party dress, which looked phenomenal on her but also looked uncomfortable. She knew she'd have to find a way to get her out of the dress and into something else, but Kirsch couldn't help with that. 

Laura turned to face Kirsch. "I'll be fine, but thank you."

He nodded, and she walked him out. 

"You have my number. If you need anything you can call me," he said. 

Laura nodded. "Thanks, Kirsch."

He smiled. "Good night, Laura. Good luck."

Laura shook her head and laughed. "Good night."

Carmilla woke up with a pounding headache in a small room that was neither her own nor one she recognized. She glanced to her right and left to see if the room's occupant was also in bed with her. She'd been in a situation like this before, though not for many years, but unlike the other time, she didn't find anyone else in bed. She looked down to her body and was puzzled that she wore a t-shirt. She didn't often wake up in a stranger's bed wearing clothes. But she was dressed in a gray shirt with the word NAVY written in black letters across her chest. She didn't own a Navy t-shirt. And while she wasn't wearing pants or shorts, her underwear was still on her body. Her bra, too, for that matter. After a quick, painful glance around the room, she saw her dress draped over the back of a chair by a small desk covered in tome-length books. The clock on the nightstand told her it was six thirty eight in the morning, the sun had only just begun rising if the gray light from the window was any indication, and she cursed her body for never allowing her to sleep more than a few hours after a night of heavy drinking. Thankfully, some kind soul left her a bottle of water and a bottle of Extra-Strength Tylenol next to the clock and she drank greedily from the bottle and helped herself to two tablets of the paracetamol—she was always a rebel—before pushing herself to a sitting position and carefully got up off the bed. 

She opened the bedroom door to find a dark hallway. It was eerily quiet, but before she could investigate, she needed to find a bathroom because, well, she didn't remember much about the previous night, be she knew she drank a lot of alcohol, and her bladder needed reprieve. 

Carmilla waited for the toilet to finish flushing before opening the door. She walked quietly to the other end of the hall that seemed to open up into a common room. The room was much darker than the bedroom, and she had to reorient her eyes to see where she was going, but before they could readjust, she stubbed her toe against the leg of what ended up being an end table. As she crouched forward in agony, she saw a sudden movement in the corner of her eye, and then she saw her—LaFontaine's friend from the party, the one she couldn't keep her eyes off of all night, the one who couldn't stop rolling those beautiful eyes at Carmilla, the one who was holding a stupidly tiny baseball bat—the kind a parent buys their kid at a baseball game. 

"What did you think you were going to do with that ridiculous bat, Cupcake?" Carmilla asked, holding her hands up in mock surrender. 

Laura put the bat down and brought a hand to her chest. "You scared the shit out of me."

"Imagine waking up in a strange place with no recollection how you got here." 

"Sorry," Laura said. She didn't know why she was apologizing, but it felt like the right thing to do. "How are you feeling?"

Carmilla shrugged as she sat in the empty armchair next to the couch. "Not great." 

Laura watched as Carmilla hugged her bare legs to her chest before tossing her one of the throws they left in a basket on the other side of the couch. She didn't need to have Carmilla half naked in front of her. 

"Do you want me to make you a cup of coffee or tea or anything? We may also have orange juice."

"Give me a sec, cutie. I'm trying to piece together my night." Carmilla opened her eyes suddenly. "We didn’t— I mean—"

"No," Laura said quickly and loudly. "No. I slept out here all night."

"Good," Carmilla said, closing her eyes again and leaning her head back against the chair. "I'd hate to think I'd spent my chance with you on a night I couldn't remember."

Laura wasn't sure she'd heard her correctly and Carmilla curled herself into a ball on the chair, so Laura didn't ask her to clarify or repeat herself. Instead, she leaned back against the sofa and watched Carmilla's chest rise and fall as she breathed. 

"Are you going to tell me why I ended up at your place, Cupcake?" Carmilla asked after a few minutes. 

Laura was certain she'd fallen asleep again and jumped when she heard her voice. 

"You're a jumpy little thing, aren't you?" Carmilla asked, laughing. 

"I thought you'd fallen back to sleep."

Carmilla just raised an eyebrow at Laura as Laura settled back into the sofa again. 

"Do you remember anything that happened last night?" Laura asked. 

"I remember you not liking me," Carmilla laughed. "I remember you plying me with wine—"

"Um, you asked for every drop of that wine."

"Details," Carmilla said, shaking her head. "I remember a tall blonde my mother introduced me to, who was quite eager." 

"Gross," Laura groaned from the sofa. Carmilla laughed. 

"But I don't really remember anything after dinner."

"All I know is LaFontaine found you and the blonde doing something—they didn't specify, thank God—and removed you from the situation in case your mother found you. They said you were pretty out of it, so they hid you in the pantry and found me and begged me to get you out of there."

"Why didn't you just take me to LaF's?" Carmilla asked.

"I asked that too, but apparently they would be getting home too late and didn't want you to be left alone. You were basically comatose."

"Yeah. I've never been blackout drunk before. It's weird. And, I mean, I don't drink as much as I used to, but I lived in the UK for two years. I can usually hold my alcohol."

"You didn't move when Kirsch lifted you up from the pantry floor or when he put you into the car or took you out and placed you on my bed," Laura explained. "I must have checked if you were breathing a hundred times. It wasn't until I tried to put that shirt on you that you mumbled something and I was able to relax a little bit."

"So you're telling me that undressing me was a positive experience for you?"

Laura glared at Carmilla, and Carmilla laughed. But if Carmilla was making jokes, she must be feeling better, and that made Laura the slightest bit happy. 

"I was worried about you," Laura said honestly. "I kept worrying someone had spiked your drink or something."

"I think that's exactly what happened," Carmilla said soberly. "I just can't figure out why."

"Who?"

"The entirely too eager, too-tall-for-me blonde daughter of a congressman." 

"No. She wouldn't—"

"Why not? Because she's a girl? I wasn't around anyone else all night. And no one was near enough to my drinks, except for you, of course," Carmilla said with a wink. 

"I would never—"

"I know, Cupcake. LaF wouldn't have sent me home with you last night or spent the last year talking you up if were capable of that."

"You knew about me?" Laura blushed the second the words flew out of her mouth. They'd just been talking about how Carmilla was likely roofied last night and Laura was focused on the fact that LaFontaine had spoken to Carmilla about her.

Carmilla laughed. "They've mentioned you once or twice."

Laura nodded. "Are you okay?" she asked. 

"I'm not sure," Carmilla said. She'd rarely been this vulnerable with anyone, let alone someone she'd just met. "I'll feel better when I know I didn't fuck anything up last night."

"LaF said the girl wasn't happy when they stopped whatever was going on with you." Laura hoped that bit of information would pacify Carmilla a bit. 

Carmilla didn't say anything, but she did laugh humorlessly.

"You're sure I can't get you anything? LaF said they'd come come to get you at some point this morning. I don't think they expected you to be up just yet. But they promised to bring us breakfast."

Carmilla nodded then yawned. "Do you mind if I go back to bed for a bit?"

"Of course not. Were you comfortable?"

Carmilla nodded and got up. Laura had forgotten she wasn't wearing any pants and she averted her eyes. 

"Help yourself to something to wear—for when LaF comes. You can just grab whatever."

Carmilla smiled and started walking back towards Laura's room. Just before she disappeared down the hall she stopped and turned back around. "Hey, Laura," she said, not speaking until Laura's eyes found hers. "Thank you for letting me stay here last night and for saving me from my mother and Ell and definitely myself."

Laura smiled. It was soft and warm and relaxed, and Carmilla couldn't help smiling reflexively when Laura said, "You're welcome, Carm."

Danny came out of her bedroom at seven thirty and woke Laura, who had also fallen back asleep after Carmilla returned to her room, by shaking her arm gently. 

"Why are you on the couch?" Danny asked when Laura, who was laying on her stomach, turned to face her as Danny tied the laces on her tennis shoes. 

"Because I'm sleeping. Or at least I was." Laura's answer was partially muffled by her pillow. 

"I can see that, but why are you sleeping on the couch when you have a bed in your own bedroom?"

"Because I gallantly gave up my bed to a damsel in distress last night."

Danny rolled her eyes. "No, really," she pressed. 

"That's really the answer, Danny. There's a girl in my room."

"And you're not—"

"It wasn't like that. Trust me. It's a long story. She's a friend of LaF's and she needed a place to crash."

"And LaF's place wasn't the logical choice for her to stay?"

"It's fine, Danny."

"So you're okay having a complete stranger spend the night in our house, your bed?"

This was the lecture Laura was expecting from her roommate. She just wished it wasn't while she was half asleep or after a night of unsatisfying sleep. 

"LaF trusts her. They wouldn't put us in danger. The girl's an Oxford Rhodes Scholar, for Christ's sake. And we both survived the night, so I'm pretty sure we're in the clear."

"That's not the point, Laura."

"I know. I'm sorry. It was an extraordinary circumstance that I really don't want to go into right now. I don't plan on making a habit out of it. Don't worry."

"Okay," Danny said, nodding. "Okay. A Rhodes Scholar, huh?"

"That's what LaF said."

"There was a girl when I was an undergrad at Silas who got a Rhodes Scholarship. She was a giant asshole though."

"Carmilla's not terrible," Laura said, surprising herself. 

"Carmilla? Carmilla Karnstein?" Danny asked in a voice an entire octave higher than her normal voice. 

"Yeah. Do you know her? Wait. Is she the 'giant asshole'?" Laura couldn't help the laugh that escaped. 

"I can't believe Carmilla fucking Karnstein is in my house. You're okay, right? She didn't try anything with you?"

"Try anything?" Laura asked, her eyebrows were furrowed together. "Other than some mild and annoying flirting at the the party, no. She wasn't in any position to try anything."

"Unbelievable."

"What did she do to you?"

Danny ignored the question. “Look, I have to meet the team for a run before practice, but be careful around her, okay? I'll be home for lunch."

Laura waved her goodbye and then rolled her eyes after Danny left. Danny was a great person and really good roommate, but she wasn't the most open-minded person in the world. She believed wholeheartedly in a binary construction of the world: black or white, good or evil. When Laura first met LaFontaine and explained their preferred pronouns, Danny argued with Laura about how it was "just weird. We're male or female. That's it. Those are our only options." Laura was thankful Danny had waited until after LaFontaine left that night to express her feelings, but Laura was not allowing Danny's outdated and, quite frankly, offensive opinions manifest themselves around LaFontaine. And to Danny's credit, she did come around and embrace that issue. But that didn't mean she wasn't still narrow-minded about other things. 

Laura didn't even know why Danny's opinion of Carmilla bothered her. She'd had pretty similar feelings about her until she saw her curled up into herself on that pantry floor. And one early morning conversation about someone possibly slipping something into Carmilla's drink last night shouldn't have been enough to erase everything else about her opinion of Carmilla. But it did. Probably because it was Danny and Danny was always so sanctimonious and, even worse, made Laura feel like she was still under her dad's protective and overbearing gaze. 

Carmilla woke up again just after nine thirty to the sound of voices somewhere far beyond Laura's closed bedroom door, but definitely inside the apartment. She hoped it meant LaFontaine had arrived and it wasn't Laura's roommate. Carmilla hated meeting new people. Plus, she didn't really feel any better, but maybe food and coffee and the knowledge that she'd soon be heading to her own place would make her feel better, and none of those things could happen until she got up. Taking Laura up on her offer, she opened a few drawers until she found a pair of pajama pants. She looked ridiculous in Laura's oversized NAVY t-shirt and Captain America pants, but it was better than the dress draped over the chair on the other side of the room. 

"Nice of you to finally join us, Captain," LaFontaine said when she saw Carmilla. 

Carmilla flipped her off and then sat in the same seat she'd sat in earlier that morning. Only this time Laura was nowhere to be found. Instead, LaFontaine and their boyfriend, JP, were in the space she had occupied. And they laughed at her when she greeted them with the rude gesture. 

"Where's Laura?" Carmilla asked, ignoring her two idiot friends on the couch. 

"She's in the bathroom," JP answered. 

Carmilla nodded and then looked at LaFontaine. "I hope you brought me a large cup of coffee for dumping me with a complete stranger last night."

LaFontaine laughed again. "I thought sleeping in a pretty girl's bed was exactly in your wheelhouse."

Carmilla glared at them until they handed over a large McDonald's coffee. "You brought us McDonald's for breakfast? This is how you make it up to me and Laura?"

"McDonald's breakfast is a special treat," LaFontaine answered. 

"Yeah. For five year olds."

"Please tell me you brought me the hotcakes," Laura said entering the room. 

"Laura likes it," LaFontaine said to Carmilla, shrugging their shoulders and handing over a medium mocha to Laura. 

"Laura also has Captain America pajama pants," Carmilla said, tugging on the fabric around her thigh. "You've basically just proved my point."

Laura smirked at Carmilla and then sat on the couch next to JP and opened her hotcake plate. "Whatever, pretentious Oxford snob." 

Carmilla raised an eyebrow at Laura and the shook her head when Laura slathered her pancakes with syrup and took a giant bite while staring right at Carmilla. 

LaFontaine held up an Egg McMuffin in one hand and blueberry muffin in the other. Carmilla took them both. "It was a rough night," she said when LaFontaine opened their mouth to protest. "And you left me in the care of someone who spent her night rolling her eyes at me."

LaFontaine looked over at JP. "This is the thanks I get for keeping her mom from finding out where she went and why she didn't say goodnight her mother."

"Or for asking me to begin researching a certain congressman and his daughter," JP interjected. 

Laura's head shot up and Carmilla looked back and forth between LaFonfaine and JP. 

"Right? Next time I'll just leave her to fend for herself and see what happens to the brilliant scholar who let her drink get spiked by an up and coming drug dealer."

That got Carmilla and Laura's attention. "Ell's a drug dealer?" Carmilla asked. "How'd you find that out, JP?"

"I'm a librarian, Carmilla. It's my job to know where to get information."

"And it helps that Jeep and I like to pretend we're Lisbeth Salander information vigilantes," LaFontaine added. 

"So you hacked onto her computer?" Laura asked. 

"Not exactly. We just went deep diving into the net and found some things," JP explained. 

"Okay, but drug dealer or not, it doesn't explain why she spiked Carmilla's drink. Wouldn't offering her drugs actually be more effective for business?" Laura asked. 

"Because she wasn't there to lure me into a life of addiction. She was acting for her father is my guess. And I bet it's connected to my mother somehow."

"We thought of that too," LaFontaine said. "We just haven't come up with much." Carmilla shrugged her shoulders. "You're okay though, right?"

"Other than being a pawn in one of my mother's political games and putting Laura out for the night, I'm okay."

"You didn't put me out," Laura said quickly. 

Carmilla and LaFontaine looked at Laura at the same time. The former laughed quietly; the latter smirked. "Cupcake, you slept with a baseball bat—a poor excuse for one, but a baseball bat nonetheless," Carmilla said to Laura. 

"Yeah, well I didn't know how you'd react to waking up in a strange place after a rough night," Laura grumbled as she ate a piece of sausage from her plate. 

"This wasn't my first rodeo, Creampuff."

"Though it must of been the first time you spent the night alone," JP added. 

LaFontaine laughed and Carmilla flipped them and JP off again. Laura, she noticed, had turned her attention to her pancakes. Carmilla could have sworn her cheeks were slightly pinker than they had been a minute ago.

"You'll find my reputation has been largely exaggerated," Carmilla said. 

She wasn't sure why she felt the need to say it. She'd never been bothered by the things people had said about her before, and she did benefit from the insinuation, but it wasn't like she'd made a habit out of it or anything. She went through a short phase—6 months, maybe—in university where she was less discriminate, but she found it more trouble than it was worth, in all honesty. She'd spent two years in the UK and lived a near-celibate existence. Her flirtation with Ell the previous night was just that—a fun diversion from the banality of the event and, she knew, a way to mess with Laura. She never intended it to go anywhere. Especially not during an event where her mother would be scrutinizing her every move. She didn't even like Ell. She found her to be like most people in her mother's circle: power hungry and obsessed with money, and she avoided those people at all costs.

"If you say so," LaFontaine responded, shrugging their shoulders. 

"So," Laura hedged cautiously, "what are you going to do about the drugging and potential conspiracy?"

Carmilla sighed. "Nothing. Avoid my mother as much as possible and go about my life. The usual."

"You're really not going to pursue this?" Laura asked incredulously. 

"I've learned it's best to not get involved with my mother. Last night was unavoidable. I had to be there. But if people are trying to get to her through me they haven't done their research. Our relationship exists only for optics."

Laura stayed quiet, though Carmilla could see her mind was working in overdrive thinking about it. 

"Honestly, it's not worth it," Carmilla said, guessing at Laura's thought process. "I came back to Silas because it's the best program in the country for my field of study with the added benefit of LaF and JP and Perry nearby. My mother being here—and being such a powerful public figure—is just an unfortunate coincidence."

Laura still looked uneasy, but she nodded. 

"You'll have to forgive Laura's obsession. You've awakened her inner journalist. She can't help but want to get to the bottom of all this," LaFontaine explained as Laura blushed for real this time. 

"You're studying journalism?" Carmilla asked. In all of their conversations about Laura, her field of study had never come up. 

"No, I'm doing law right now. But my undergrad was in journalism."

"Huh," Carmilla said quietly to herself. And then she turned to Laura and said, "I wouldn't have guess law." 

"What were you thinking?" Laura asked. 

"Something in the humanities—maybe history."

Laura laughed. "Trust me, that's basically what law and journalism are."

LaFontaine took over the conversation after that, or rather after conversation died because Carmilla and Laura didn't have much to say to each other. But that wasn't true either because they were both curious about the other but neither felt comfortable pushing for more—especially not with LaFontaine and JP sitting there and especially not when Carmilla was covered in Laura's clothes. So LaFontaine talked about Perry's minor panic after Laura and Kirsch left with Carmilla and then her elation when the event coordinator praised Perry's company's service and food. 

"We should probably head out," LaFontaine said to Laura fifteen minutes after Carmilla finished her sandwich. "I have to drop Carmilla off before I head to the lab."

"Oh," Laura said, furrowing her eyebrows. "Okay."

"What are you doing the rest of the day?" JP asked Laura. 

"Nothing. Enjoy the waning moments of my summer hiatus before the crazy starts."

"You mean you're going to be reading fan fiction, don't you?" LaFontaine teased. 

Laura blushed. "And if I am?" she asked in a way that was a challenge. There was no point in denying it and LaFontaine and JP both knew about it since they'd caught her obsessively on her phone in the corner of Perry and LaFontaine's apartment ignoring everyone else at one of their gatherings. She tried to play it off like she was reading an important article, but when Kirsch grabbed her phone and threw it to LaFontaine, who quickly read something from her screen. "OK, I was so not prepared to find myself in just my bra and underwear. Just my bra and underwear!" LaFontaine looked up with a smirk. "What the hell are you reading, L?" Laura quickly grabbed her phone from LaFontaine's hand and proceeded to explain the concept of fan fiction, and they still haven't let her live it down. 

"The whole concept of fan fiction is really interesting, actually," Carmilla said, grabbing the room's attention, "particularly for queer storytelling."

"You're telling me you read fan fiction?" LaFontaine asked, eyebrow quirked in a look that didn't hide their shock. 

"Well, no, that would require I watched TV or movies, wouldn't it? But that doesn't mean it doesn't have merit or that there aren't talented writers or intriguing narratives to be found. Don't be such a snob, LaF," she finished, while LaFontaine's jaw dropped and JP laughed. 

"Thank you, Carmilla," Laura said with a smug expression directed at LaFontaine. "But do you really not watch TV?"

Carmilla shrugged. "It's not really my thing. I'd rather read a book."

"Now who's the snob," LaFontaine grumbled. 

They left not long after the fan fiction discussion, and Carmilla, not wanting to dirty any more of Laura's clothes and not wanting to put on her dress, left wearing the NAVY t-shirt and the pajama pants. She hoped none of her neighbors saw her since she had an image to uphold, even if she did her best to pretend she didn't try that hard to achieve the cool and disaffected look she was aiming for. 

LaFontaine was relentless on the short car ride to her apartment: "How'd it go?" "What'd you think about her?" "What'd you guys talk about?" "Do you want to see her again?" Carmilla didn't know how to answer any of that. What had transpired with Laura had been odd. On the one hand, it felt like a set up. LaFontaine and Perry talked about Laura all the time. But on the other hand, Laura didn't seem to know who Carmilla even was. Had LaFontaine and Perry not talked her up to the same degree? And if not, was it really a setup at all? 

And then there was the puzzle of Laura herself. Carmilla didn't make a good first impression. She knew that. And her behavior the rest of the night—at least of what she could remember—didn't win her any favor. Honestly, she couldn't help herself. But then Laura seemed overly accommodating this morning, especially during their early morning talk, before LaFontaine and JP arrived. But even with them, being around Laura was easy. Carmilla felt she wanted to know her more—that much she knew. But she didn't know how to tell LaFontaine any of this, and she didn't really want to either. 

So Carmilla spent the rest of her waning summer not thinking much about it. And neither LaFontaine nor Perry pushed her on it after Carmilla explained to Perry, a week after her mom's party, that she didn't want to talk about Laura, at least when any connotations between her and Laura were made. And they backed off. 

Then school started, and Carmilla was busy with classes and her teaching schedule and conference paper submissions, and she wasn't thinking too much about Laura—at least not in the borderline obsessive way she has been the couple of weeks prior to the start of the school year. And it was probably the right thing to do because she knew that Laura wasn't thinking of her that way if at all. She still had her t-shirt and pajama pants though. She should have returned them by now, but she kept putting it off. Laura's clothes were the only connection she had to Laura, and she wasn't sure she wanted to give that up. 

—-

Three weeks into the new semester and Laura was already buried in a pile of books and assignments. She'd not seen LaFontaine or Perry since the President's party, though they had invited her over to play some board game on Saturday night, and she couldn't refuse, even if her course load didn't look to abate until the semester break. And she definitely did not have time for a sit-down lunch with Danny, but she managed to squeeze some time for that, as she currently sat outside an on-campus cafe with Danny. 

"I do not miss this place," Danny said, returning from the bathroom. She was an English teacher and volleyball coach at the local public high school. She and Laura met each other through a university ad Danny had posted looking for a roommate for the last year of her master's program, which coincided with Laura's first year of law school and first year at Silas. They hit it off immediately. And, though she'd never admit it now, Laura had a brief crush on Danny, which lasted until that incident with LaFontaine. They were better off as friends. Law school kept Laura too busy for a girlfriend anyway. 

"What happened?" Laura asked, laughing because Danny looked flustered. It was a Saturday and Laura had been busy studying in the law library all morning and was happy for the break and the sunshine, so she really couldn't be bothered by whatever atrocity Danny was facing. 

"A Zeta Omega Mu frat boy happened," Danny groaned. "Out of nowhere this guy comes over to me and asks if I drink milk. And I was confused, so I asked, 'What?' And then he said, and I quote, 'Do you drink milk? Because it sure did your body good.' I nearly punched him."

Laura scrunched her nose up in sympathy before she dipped a french fry in ketchup and stuck it in her mouth. Danny settled back in and began telling Laura about her students and her workload, and Laura welcomed the break from thinking about tax law. 

Danny was in the middle of talking about a parent of one of her students who called her to tell her her son did not deserve a B+ on his paper when she saw her. Carmilla. She was with a cute blonde and they were standing up and gathering their things as if to leave, and Laura couldn't believe she hadn't seen them before. 

"What are you looking at?" Danny asked, turning around to follow Laura's gaze. "Is that Carmilla? And Elsie?"

"Elsie?" Laura asked.

"She was in my hall freshman year. She and Carmilla were always together," Danny explained. "I think maybe they were together at one point? I'm not sure. I tried to avoid Karnstein at all costs."

Carmilla looped her bag over her shoulder, and as she adjusted her strap she looked up, then down and then did a quick double take. Laura watched the scene unfold with a smile on her face, so when Carmilla's eyes locked onto hers, Carmilla returned the smile. It was genuine and little bit shy, so unlike the smiles Laura's mind had imprinted from the night they met. She hadn't seen her since the morning following that night, and she forgot how beautiful she was. 

"Well, she's walking over here," Laura said, giving Carmilla a small wave in addition to the smile. 

"You're kid—"

"Hey, Cupcake," Carmilla said to Laura. She hadn't, to Laura's knowledge, registered Danny's presence. 

"Hey."

"How have you been? LaF says they haven't seen you in a while."

"School's been kicking my ass," Laura admitted. 

"Yeah, I know what you mean," she said smiling. 

The conversation stopped and they were just staring at each other. It was Elsie who broke up whatever weird trance they were in. 

"I'm Elsie, by the way," she said to Laura, extending her hand and glaring at Carmilla. 

"Laura." She took Elsie's hand and gave the girl a smile. "And this is Danny," she said, acknowledging her friend. Elsie seemed to scrutinize Laura for a moment until Danny's introduction forced her to look away. 

"Danny Lawrence," Elsie exclaimed. "I haven't seen you for years. How are you?" 

Danny began speaking to Elsie, but Laura paid no attention. She was too busy looking at Carmilla, trying to figure her out, trying to reconcile the girl with all the bravado and confidence of the girl she met many weeks ago with this quiet, almost shy version in front of her now. 

"Are you going to be LaF and Perry's tonight?" Laura finally asked. "They told me they invited you."

"I was planning on it," Carmilla answered. "Are you?"

"Yeah, I owe them some social time. I've been holing up in the library. I haven't seen them since that morning with you at my apartment."

Carmilla nodded. "Are you bringing Danny?" 

Laura didn't understand the question or the look in Carmilla's eyes. They were tense, uncertain. 

Laura's eyebrows furrowed. "Why would I bring Danny?"

"Oh. No reason," she fumbled. "I just thought—. Sorry, I assumed you were dating or something."

"No. Danny's my roommate," Laura giggled uncomfortably. "Just my roommate," she added for emphasis. 

"Oh. Okay." Carmilla said nodding. "I wondered why LaFontaine hadn't mentioned anything if, you know..." She trailed off. 

"Why would—"

"So you're Laura," Elsie said, dragging Laura's thoughts from trying to figure out the exchange she'd just had with Carmilla. "Carmilla's mentioned you a few times." Laura noticed Carmilla face went bright red as she glared at Elsie. "Assuming you're that Laura, that is."

Laura looked at Carmilla, one eyebrow raised in question. 

"Laura helped rescue me from myself one night," Carmilla confirmed. "I still owe you for that," she said to Laura. 

"I'd settle for getting my pajama pants and my dad's t-shirt back," she teased. She thought she saw Carmilla's face fall, and it puzzled her. 

"Yeah. Sorry about that," Carmilla said. She looked embarrassed. "I guess I should let you get back to your lunch, but it was nice seeing you. And, I mean, I guess I'll see you tonight, so..."

"Yeah. I'll see you tonight."

"It was really nice meeting you, Laura," Elsie said with a wink that elicited an eye roll from Carmilla. "And it was great running into you, Danny."

Danny returned the salutation and Carmilla and Elsie walked away. 

"So what just happened there?" Danny asked, leaning closer to Laura as if Laura had some big secret to reveal. 

"What are you talking about?"

"You and Carmilla," Danny clarified. "You guys were staring at each other all googly-eyed and shy."

"What?" Laura exclaimed. "We were not."

Danny just looked at her, waiting to Laura to divulge more, but when Laura's gaze didn't falter, Danny shook her head and sighed. "Whatever you say, Hollis."

"That is literally the second time I've seen her," Laura said. "Besides, you don't even like her."

"I don't really know her," Danny admitted. "Just her reputation."

Laura snorted. "Really, Danny? Do you even hear yourself? You're judging a girl on what you've heard about her?" She shook her head. "And for that reason you warned me to 'be careful'?"

Danny didn't say anything and Laura didn't push it. She didn't feel like getting into an argument about someone she didn't even know. She knew Danny tried to be a good person, but she was often so self-righteous about it. Laura empathized with her a bit because she'd once been that way, too, but a year abroad and a couple of painful breakups really shook her up. Suddenly things that had been so easily categorized into good and bad were much harder to discern. And besides, she didn't require Danny's approval for anything beyond what picture might be hung in their shared living room. She steered the conversation away from Carmilla for the rest of lunch and then returned to the library the rest of the afternoon. 

Carmilla arrived at Perry and LaFontaine's house just after eight o'clock. She was the last to arrive, bringing the company to an even six. Perry got up to take her coat and the bottle of wine she carried in her hand and welcomed her with a curt smile and then ushered her to the table, where everyone else was already seated, to the one empty seat beside Laura and perpendicular to JP. LaFontaine sat across from her. Laura smiled at her when she saw her and then laughed when LaFontaine reminded Carmilla that she was late. 

Carmilla rolled her eyes. "I'm barely late."

"Thirty minutes," JP corrected. 

"You'll get over it," she said mostly to LaFontaine. 

"Yeah, but Perry may not," they said.

As if on cue, Perry entered the dining area carrying a casserole in her arms and wordlessly demanded everyone's attention. "Now that Carmilla has arrived," she said, pointedly glancing at her as she spoke, "dinner is served."

Carmilla mostly listened as everyone caught up on each other's lives. LaFontaine was on the verge of a breakthrough on their research, Perry's catering business was starting to take off, thanks to the event they did for Carmilla's mom, Kirsch talked about his new crop of fifth graders, all eager to start the new year, JP didn't really have an update, saying that the library was uneventful most days, and Laura talked about how her coursework was kicking her ass, and then she turned her head to Carmilla and smirked and told the group that she'd run into Carmilla with "some girl" earlier that day while she had lunch with Danny. 

"I had coffee with Elsie," Carmilla said, shrugging her shoulders. 

"Elsie? That girl you used to go around with in undergrad?" Perry asked. 

"Elsie and I did not 'go around.'" Carmilla quickly corrected. "Elsie's like a sister to me. I've known her since high school."

"You mean you guys never..." LaFontaine turned their eyes down when Carmilla glared at them. 

"We got drunk off of wine coolers when we were fifteen and made out until we both started giggling because it was so weird and stopped. That's literally all we ever did."

Carmilla was annoyed. She didn't mind the reputation that had formed about her, but she hated thinking someone she thought as a close friend thought that's who she was. Sure, LaFontaine witnessed that one period of her life when she earned this reputation, but it didn't take the sting she was feeling away. 

"She seemed really nice," Laura offered, obviously trying to ease some of the tension, and Carmilla was grateful for the offering. 

"She is," she said, throwing Laura a small smile. 

Kirsch used the the lull in conversation to compliment Perry on her cooking, which Perry shrugged off with a small shake of the head. LaFontaine caught Carmilla's eyes and gave her an apologetic look. Carmilla nodded and hoped she didn't have to revisit this topic again. 

LaFontaine and JP cleared the dishes from the table, while Perry refilled their drinks. JP began setting up the game—some new, cooperative game he'd wanted to try with really bizarre art. Carmilla wasn't one for board games, but JP had a relatively popular blog devoted to table-top gaming, so she'd learned to play along during their undergrad years. But cooperative games were less interesting to Carmilla. She enjoyed the competition. She enjoyed winning, especially if it meant beating LaFontaine, who was just as competitive as she was. Plus, they were much harder to win. And sure enough, they played the game three times and didn't manage to win once. 

The night wasn't a complete loss. She found that she and Laura were usually in agreement on what guesses they should make, while LaFontaine, Perry, and Kirsch argued other choices. And when they did disagree, they argued so spectacularly that at one point Kirsch made some crack about them arguing like an old married couple and, another time, LaFontaine said it was a shame they weren't together because the make-up sex would probably be really good, and all Carmilla could do was glare at both of them while trying to ignore that Laura would just look down at the table and refuse to say anything until required by the game. 

It was half past midnight when their third disastrous game ended, and Carmilla had a full day of reading and grading to attend to the following day, so she stood and reached back for her jacket. 

"It's getting late and I have a lot to do tomorrow, so I'm going to head out," she said as she pushed her chair in. "Thanks for dinner, Perry, and I enjoyed the game, JP."

"It's only twelve thirty," LaFontaine said by way of protest. "When did you turn into such a old lady?" 

Carmilla smirked. "Told you I was boring." She walked over to the sofa to grab her bag, and found that LaFontaine had stood up to walk her out. But as she was adjusting the strap of the bag on her shoulder, Laura appeared before them. 

"I better get going, too," she said, tying a scarf around her neck. 

"You guys are so lame," LaFontaine said. 

They stood silently on the porch for a few moments after LaFontaine bid them goodnight and closed the door before Laura spoke. 

"How are you getting home?" she asked. 

"Oh, I, um, walked here. It's not too far and the weather's only going to get worse, so I'm taking advantage of the last few remaining nice nights." 

Carmilla was thankful it was dark because she'd just rambled for some stupid reason. Laura had only asked her how she was getting home, not why. And when she looked at Laura, she saw her eyes trained on hers, a slight smirk playing across her face. "You?" she quickly asked, in an effort to deflect the attention away from herself. 

"My bike's right there," she said, pointing to a parking sign in front of the house with a biked chained to it. "But I drank too much to ride it home, I think."

"In that case, let's get you home safely."

Laura just looked at Carmilla, biting her bottom lip. "You really don't have to do that. I'll be fine," she said, an odd sternness to her voice.

"I know that. It's just, according to LaF, we live only a couple of blocks apart, so you're kind of on my way."

"Oh," Laura said somewhat sheepishly. "Let me just unlock my bike."

Carmilla didn't say much as they walked through town, which didn't bother Laura, who measured her walk as she walked past familiar buildings: the bodega where she loved to eat lunch, the coffee shop with the truly life-changing hot chocolate flavors, the seafood restaurant that sent her home with food poisoning, and the Chinese restaurant that always sent her home with a couple of extra fortune cookies. 

When they walked in front of the Anglerfish, a popular university bar, Laura finally spoke. "Was this your scene in your undergrad days?" 

Laura didn't actually care, but the silence was starting to feel odd. 

Carmilla stopped and looked at Laura, then looked beyond her to the locale in question, then smirked, then began walking again. "Only when another girl was buying. It wasn't really my scene." 

Laura looked back at the bar and smiled. "Too many frat boys cramping your style?"

"Please," she said, rolling her eyes. "More like too hetero, too loud, and overpriced, shitty beer."

Laura laughed in agreement but then let the conversation die down. 

"If I went out at all, I'd usually drive into the city and head to the gayborhood there," Carmilla volunteered. "But normally I was was in my room or the library or some coffee shop reading or writing."

"So you've always been a giant nerd is what you're telling me."

"Pretty much," she said with a light chuckle. "Elsie liked the Anglerfish, so I went a few times with her. I was a terrible wingman though."

Laura really laughed at that. 

"What about you?" Carmilla asked. "Where do you spend most of your time?"

Laura sighed. "These days I'm usually in the law library or in my house. Occasionally I'll force myself out to study, but I find coffee shops completely distracting, so I usually have to find a solitary spot."

"Oh man, you're just as boring as I am," Carmilla remarked with a smile.  
 “I guess. I’ve never intentionally been anti-social. It’s just my interests tend not to appeal to the general population. I have this entire online community that sort of gets it though,” she laughed, a bit self-consciously. “And now school’s my barrier. My law courses are constantly kicking my ass, so I have no choice but to become a shut-in while I manage that because I’m definitely one of those people who has to work her ass off for every good mark.”  
   
“Doesn’t that get exhausting?” Carmilla asked. “I mean, you have to set aside some time for you to kick back, right? Do something for just you.”  
   
Laura nodded. “I’m still trying to figure out how to do that and not fail out of law school,” she said honestly. She avoided Carmilla’s eyes, and when she looked up, she was relieved to see her building was just the next house over. “This is me.” She pointed at the three-story house Victorian house that had been converted into four apartments. She and Danny lived on the ground floor.  
   
“That’s even closer to me than I remember it being,” Carmilla said, looking at the house.  
   
“Thanks for walking with me,” Laura said sincerely.  
   
“Yeah. My pleasure.”  
   
“You’ll be okay by yourself the rest of the way?”  
   
Carmilla nodded and then looked off in what was likely the direction she’d continue to walk. “It’s only a few blocks away; I’ll be fine.”  
   
“Okay, so…” Laura didn’t know what she was waiting for, exactly, but Carmilla hadn’t said goodbye either.  
   
“Oh, I almost forgot,” Carmilla said, reaching into her bag. “I remembered to bring these with me since I knew I’d see you tonight.” She pulled out her pajama pants and t-shirt, which were both neatly rolled and held together by hair bands. “I’m sorry it took me so long to return these, but thanks for letting me use them that night. Actually, thanks for coming to my rescue in general that night.”  
   
She rambled in a way Carmilla never rambled, and Laura thought it was somewhat charming how unsure she was.  
   
“Anyway,” she said, as if remembering her purpose, “they’ve both been washed.”  
   
“Thanks,” Laura said as Carmilla handed them over. She didn’t know what else to say, and Carmilla still hadn’t made any steps towards leaving. “So I’m just going to…” Laura gestured towards the front door.  
   
Carmilla took a breath and then shook her head, smiling. “Right, sorry.” She still didn’t move, and Laura felt the awkwardness building between them.  
   
“Hey, listen,” Carmilla said, not looking up from the ground. “Elsie gave me tickets to the opening night of this art exhibit her boyfriend is curating downtown, and I know you just finished telling me you have no time for extracurricular activities, but I don’t know who else to ask. And, I mean, you seemed pretty into the art in that game we played tonight, so I thought I’d ask. It’s Friday night.” Carmilla sighed loudly and kept her eyes down.  
   
“Oh, um…”  
   
“It’s okay if you don’t want to go. I just thought I’d put it out there.”  
   
Laura could hear the hurt in Carmilla’s voice, and the whole thing threw her. Was there really no one else Carmilla could ask? Was Carmilla asking her out? Like, on a date? She barely knew her, and the first time they met, she didn’t even like her.  
   
“No, it’s not that,” Laura said. “But, just to be clear, you aren’t asking me on a date, are you? Because I don’t have time to even think about dating anyone and, I mean—“  
   
“I didn’t ask you for dinner, Cupcake,” she said, smirking and sounding much more confident than she had moments before. “It’s just an art show that I happen to have tickets to, and you’re not horrible company, so…”  
   
“Oh,” Laura said, laughing. She didn’t know if she was disappointed or relieved. “Okay,” she said to herself, nodding. “Okay,” she said to Carmilla.  
   
“Okay?” Carmilla asked, raising her left eyebrow.  
   
“Yeah. Friday night. It’s a not-date,” Laura said smiling.  
   
“Okay,” Carmilla said. She looked relieved.  
   
They exchanged numbers and Carmilla said she’d text the details, and they finally managed to say goodbye.  
   
Once she got inside, Laura quickly went to the living room window and watched Carmilla walk away.


	2. Two

Friday night went really well. Better than Carmilla had even imagined it’d go when she’d first had the idea to invite Laura. Laura was everything LaFontaine and Perry had described to her before they’d met: gorgeous, whip-smart, engaging, affable, conversant—just generally charming, and Carmilla was enchanted. She could admit that—at least to herself. She wasn’t about to share that information with her friends, especially to LaFontaine, and she certainly wasn’t going to share that information with Laura, who had basically rebuffed her when she’d asked her to come with her. But that didn’t mean that Laura couldn’t be her friend. It’s not like she had very many of those—she could count them all on one hand with at least a finger or two to spare, a thought which would probably depress her if she thought too much about it, but she was more-or-less okay with that. Laura was the first person in a long time she genuinely enjoyed being around.  
   
And the feeling must have been at least somewhat mutual because even if she hadn’t actually seen Laura since the night of the art exhibit a week and a half ago, they’d managed to maintain a running conversation through text message.  
   
She was finishing an email to one of her students in the last five minutes of her office hours when her phone altered her to a message.  
   
_What are you doing tonight?_ Laura asked.  
   
_I’m having a_ ménage à trois _with Schubert and Rousseau_ , she replied.

_Pretentious much?_

Carmilla rolled her eyes even though Laura couldn't see her.

 _As exciting as that sounds, I'm really hoping you can do me a favor_ , Laura’s next text read.

 _That doesn't sound ominous at all_ , Carmilla replied while Laura was formulating her pitch.

_So one of the girls on our softball team tore a ligament in her knee last week, and our captain hasn't found a replacement yet, so we're short a girl and our alternate quit a few weeks ago, and if we don't find someone else we'll have to forfeit the game._

_And I heard you talking to Elsie's boyfriend about the Mets the other night, so I'm deducing that you at least know the rules._

_And you don't actually need to be good. We just need a female body. Just for tonight._

_Please?_ A gif of that cat from Shrek, the one where he's begging with big, pathetic eyes, accompanied this particular text, and Carmilla sighed. Even her rambling texts were cute.

 _What time do you need me and where do I go?_ she asked, inwardly cursing the fact that she couldn't say no.

_OMG, really? I didn't actually expect you to say yes. Um, 9:00 at the fields behind the athletic center?_

_Anything I need to bring? Are there certain colors I should wear?_

_Just your student ID. Theo will have all the equipment you're going to need._

_Thanks, Carm_ , Laura's last text read. _I owe you a beer._

Carmilla rolled her eyes, unsure if it was a reaction to her agreeing to this softball game or because Laura had the audacity to shorten her name to "Carm." But she finished her email and then packed her bag and headed home.

When Laura asked Carmilla to play softball with the law school's intramural team, she didn't expect her to say yes. And if she did say yes, she didn't expect Carmilla to show up in gray baseball pants and a proper bat bag slung over her shoulder. She also didn't expect to find the ensemble, complete with back and white stirrup socks, a black hoodie and a blue Kansas City Royals hat, so attractive on Carmilla. She knew the dress from that first night and the leather pants were sexy as all else. And Carmilla generally looked good. Like, tantalizing and completely unfair good. But this dressed down, sporty version was equally hot. And Laura almost hated herself for the thought.

"Hey, Cutie," Carmilla drawled as she sat down on the metal bleacher outside of the playing field next to where Laura stood and dug cleats out of her bag.

"Hey," Laura replied still in shock.

"I brought my student ID like you asked."

"Yeah," she said to Carmilla, looking around. "Theo," she then said to someone over Carmilla's should, beckoning him over with her hand.

Theo, Carmilla presumed, came right next to Laura, standing way too close for Carmilla's liking, and probably Laura's too, since she took a half step towards Carmilla. Theo was a good looking guy with a far-too-smooth smile and a great head of hair, but with a physique of guy compensating for something by beefing up with muscles way too large for a guy with his frame. "How can I help you, Hollis?" he asked.

"This is the friend I told you about, Carmilla." Carmilla stood and offered her hand to him. "Theo is our team captain," she said for Carmilla's sake.

He shook her hand and asked, "Are you a Royals fan?"

"God no! It was just a gift from a friend."

Theo accepted her answer and then handed her a release form to read and sign. He explained the rules Carmilla may not have known, like the fact that sliding was an automatic out or that the batter only got three pitches or about the runs-per-inning limit. "We generally put the girls at catcher, second, and first, but Mel won't let anyone near first base. Not sure if you have any preference."

"Do you have a preference, Laura?" she asked and relished the way Laura smiled at her.

"I like to start at catcher, but we can rotate. That's what Natalie and I always did."

"Okay, I'm staring at second, I guess."

"Glad that's settled," Theo said. "And you'll be batting ninth, Karnstein," he added looking down as she walked away.

Carmilla reached in her bag to grab her glove and a ball to start warming up. But when she looked up, she saw Laura smirking at her. "What?" she asked, self-conscious.

"You have a hat because it has your initials on it," Laura answered with a smug smile.

Carmilla shrugged her shoulders and laughed.

Laura rolled her eyes, even if Carmilla didn’t see, and followed Carmilla to an open patch of grass, where they stated to throw the ball back and forth. "So are you going to tell me why you're completely kitted out for this?" she asked.

"I can't tell you all my secrets, can I?"

It turned out Carmilla was actually really good at softball. She got on base four times and made it home three of those times, and her fielding was outstanding. So outstanding, in fact, that Laura stopped rotating with her after the fourth inning and just kept Carmilla at second base. Even Mel, the only other girl on the team, was impressed, and Mel was rarely impressed.  
   
The group ended up at The Liar’s Heart after the game. Unlike the Anglerfish, which was loud and crawling with undergrads, Liar’s Heart was smaller, more pub than bar, and was the favorite of the graduate-student population. Laura scooted into the corner of a booth and was happy Carmilla cozied right up against her.  
   
“Don’t think I’m not holding you to that beer, Sunshine,” Carmilla reminded her. “Not only did I rescue your entire team, which by the way, who came up with the name ‘Legal Eyes’? But I then got dragged out with a bunch of law students.” Laura watched Carmilla survey her teammates and other classmates who came out every Monday night after the game. “I thought you were too busy to be social, anyway.”  
   
“This isn’t being social,” Laura explained. “This is networking.”  
   
“Networking? Is that what you’re calling this?”  
   
Laura rolled her eyes but didn’t respond. “What do you want to drink?”  
   
Carmilla grabbed the beer menu in front of her and looked down. “Get me a Boddington’s, I guess,” she said, looking up and over at the law crowd again, as Laura tried to get the server’s attention.  
   
“So why didn’t you tell me you were a giant softball nerd?” Laura asked.  
   
“It never came up?”  
   
“It literally came up a few of hours ago,” Laura reminded her.  
   
“No,” Carmilla corrected, a smug smile on her face, “you only asked if I could be a female body for your team and assumed I couldn’t play. You never actually asked me if I’d ever played before.”  
   
Laura’s cheeks burned and she looked down, just as their server placed their beers and French fries right in front of them. Carmilla was right; she’d assumed she couldn’t play.  
   
“I played pretty competitively until my senior year of high school when my coach left and they hired a jackass as his replacement. I wasn’t good enough for a scholarship, so it seemed like stopping when it was no longer fun was a good idea.”  
   
“Was it fun tonight?” Laura asked. She was relaxed and smiling and they’d won their first game of the season, and she didn’t have any writing to do when she got home, so she was happy.  
   
“It was. Thanks for thinking of me.” Carmilla retuned her smile.  
   
They remained that way for a few moments before they attention was diverted by the sound of a person scooting across the bench opposite to where they sat. It was the first baseman, Mel.  
   
“It was so nice having another girl who could play, Karnstein,” she said when she settled. “No offense, Hollis,” she remembered to add.  
   
“None taken,” Laura said smirking at Carmilla. She’d been around Mel enough not to be offended and, if she was honest, she was basically terrible at the sport, even if she did enjoy it, so it wasn’t as if Mel was killing her dreams or anything.  
   
“Anyway, the dudebros over there are going to ask you to play for our team the rest of the season, but they’re also fighting over which one of them is going to ask you out,” Mel said, “so they might be a while.”  
   
Laura choked on her drink but managed not to spit any out. Carmilla was looking at her with that damn eyebrow raised up as she pounded on Laura’s back.  
   
“You okay there, Cupcake?” When she got confirmation in the form of a nod and the end of Laura’s coughing fit, she turned to Mel, smirking again. “I figured they’d had enough with striking out for one night?”  
   
“Oh, I told them it was a hopeless cause, but you know men,” she said, taking a sip of her Sierra Nevada. “Anyway, it’s obvious to anyone with eyes that you two want to get into each other’s pants, so they’re all idiots.”

It was Carmilla's turn to choke on her drink and cough, but Laura knew that her shock and terror shown all over her face. So while Carmilla tried to get her coughing under control, Laura addressed Mel.

"Carmilla and I are just friends. And barely friends at that," she explained.

Mel stared at her and then at Carmilla, whose coughing fit had finally subsided. Laura did her best to hold Mel's intense gaze, and thankfully Mel looked away first. "That doesn't alter the truth about what I initially said," she pointed out before she took another sip from her bottle.

Laura was spared further comment by the presence of Theo and a couple of other guys from the team. Theo slid into the booth next to Mel while the other guys stood someone behind him as if their were Theo's silent entourage or bodyguards. Mel simply rolled her eyes and pumped her fist up and down so that only she and Carmilla could see. Laura heard Carmilla's quiet chuckle at the movement but she didn't think any of the boys caught it.

"You brought us a ball player, Hollis," Theo said, grabbing one of their French fries and smiling in that way that really made her want to punch his face.

"That was merely a coincidence," she said, trying not to pull the basket of fries closer to her end of the table.

Theo's attention didn't stay on Laura for long as he quickly fixed that cocky smile onto Carmilla. "Thank you for saving our asses tonight," he said rather sincerely. "I know you're not in the law department, but we've discussed it," he said gesturing to the guys standing behind him, "and we would love it if you considered playing with us the rest of the season. It's only five more games and then a possible playoff birth. And you wouldn't even have to pay the league fee. We'll cover that for you," he implored, that stupid smile still plastered across his face. He was going to make a great corporate lawyer one day.

Laura watched as Carmilla looked at Theo, her face completely expressionless and completely Carmilla. She looked to the guys still standing behind Theo and then over to Mel and then chucked under her breath.

"Thank you, Theo," she finally said, taking no notice of Laura like she had with the rest of the group. "I'll consider your offer, but a lot will depend on whether or not Laura wants me to—"

"Laura won't care. Will you, Laura?" he said, looking back and forth between her and Carmilla.

Laura looked up and found that Theo was smiling at her. It was less obnoxious that it had been throughout the entire conversation, but it was no less infuriating, so she turned her face to look at Carmilla instead. Her eyes were warm, though her brow furrowed, as if she was trying to read Laura. She looked like she was about to speak before Laura smiled and, without turning to Theo, replied. "I'd love it if you played with us."

"So it's settled, then," Theo said, taking another swig from his beer and continuing to speak. Laura didn't know if it was directed at her or Carmilla or one of his boys or the table. She was too busy watching Carmilla's expression, how her brow had relaxed and she was smiling softly when her eyes met Laura's.

"Want to get out of here?" Carmilla asked her a moment later, while the team had taken over this little corner of theirs and Mel and Theo argued about something they'd discussed in class.

Laura nodded and followed Carmilla out of the booth.

"You guys aren't leaving already?" one of the guys from the team asked, as Laura adjusted her scarf around her neck and Carmilla put a black vest over her hoodie.

"I have reading to do, and I'm sure Carmilla does too, so I'll see you in seminar, Josh," Laura said before they both walked towards the door.

The fall night air was cool and crisp, but Carmilla’s cheeks were pink from the heat of the bar. She pulled a beanie out of her bag and fitted it over her head and then smiled when she finally looked up at Laura.  
   
“Sorry to drag you away,” she said. “I didn’t fancy spending my entire night with Theo and his entourage.”  
   
Laura nodded. “You really don’t have to feel any pressure to play with us, you know. I only played because Mel said they needed girls and it seemed like fun.” She shrugged her shoulders. They were still standing outside the Liar’s Heart.  
   
“I’m not doing Theo any favors, that’s for sure. But I like playing,” she said, smirking, “and it gives me a good excuse to see you once a week. Plus, Mel’s hilarious. I like her.”  
   
“Mel’s usually an acquired taste for most people,” Laura agreed, laughing.  
   
“I appreciate a good smartass.”  
   
Laura rolled her eyes but didn’t respond. Her ears were getting cold and she wondered why neither she nor Carmilla had moved away from the pub.  
   
“Hey, I don’t know what you have to do tonight, but my place is warm and I have hot chocolate and bourbon,” Carmilla said.  
   
“I should probably get home,” Laura replied. She saw as Carmilla nodded a few times to the ground.  
   
“Yeah. I should probably do my Rosseau reading before I go to bed,” Carmilla said.  
   
“I’ll walk you home, though,” Laura offered by way of consolation.  
   
Carmilla smiled. “Yeah, okay.”

—-

October was already a third of the way through. The Legal Eyes had played one more game since Carmilla’s triumphant debut, which they won. She and Laura joined the team for drinks again, and this time Theo insisted on buying them both drinks since they’d bailed too early the week before. And she and Laura had continued their near-incessant text exchange, but nothing had progressed from there. Carmilla just wanted to hang out with her again—just Laura, like they’d done the night of the art exhibit, but homework was always the excuse. Carmilla could work with that. She sent a text to Laura to see what she was up to. It was Friday after all.  
   
_Locking myself in the law library all night :(_ , Laura replied. _You?_  
   
_Not sure yet. Sitting down for coffee with LaF right now._  
   
At that moment LaFontaine sat down in the seat across from her, and Carmilla put her phone down onto the table.  
   
 “Who were you texting?” they asked, setting Carmilla’s coffee in front of her and stirring sugar into their latte.  
   
“Laura,” Carmilla mumbled as she reached for her mug and then read the text Laura just sent. “She says hi, by the way,” she passed along, putting her phone back onto the table. She’d continue their conversation later.  
   
“Laura?” LaFontaine repeated. “Laura Hollis? That Laura?”  
   
Carmilla rolled her eyes but didn’t otherwise reply.  
   
“Since when do you and Laura text each other back and forth?” LaFontaine asked when Carmilla offered no explanation.  
   
“Since that game night at your place last month.” Carmilla shrugged her shoulders. “Have you not seen her since then?”  
   
“I’ve had lunch with her a couple of times, but you’ve never come up,” LaFontaine admitted. “She’s hard to track down, and this semester seems worse. Have you actually seen her?”  
   
“A few times. Not a lot.”  
   
LaFontaine’s jaw dropped.  
   
“I invited her to an art exhibition that Elsie got me tickets to in September, and we’ve been talking since then. I don’t see what the big deal is.” Carmilla wanted to move on from this conversation as quickly as possible, but LaFontaine didn’t get the hint.  
   
“You asked her out on a date?”  
   
“It wasn’t a date,” Carmilla quickly clarified. “It’s not like that. We’re just friends. And barely friends at that,” she added, using Laura’s line from a few weeks ago. It had stung when Laura had said it, but it was a useful phrase for her now.  
   
“When did you see her last?”  
   
“Why are you so interested on this?”  
   
LaFontaine gave her a look that communicated they were not amused by Carmilla’s evasiveness and deliberate obtuseness.

Carmilla sighed. "I saw her on Monday night. I'm on her softball team."

LaFontaine covered their mouth, struggling to swallow the sip they just took. "God, don't say things like that without a bit of warning first. Why the hell are you playing softball with the law students?”

Carmilla rolled her eyes again. "They needed an extra girl. Laura asked me to sub one game and then the team captain asked if I'd play the rest of the season. No big deal."

LaFontaine laughed. Carmilla glared at them.

"Sorry," they said trying but failing not to laugh. "I'm just trying to picture you playing softball."

Carmilla flipped them off and then managed to steer the conversation away from Laura for the duration of their visit together.

Carmilla stopped at the entrance of the law library, trying not to listen to that voice in her head that was telling her this was a dumb idea, that Laura wouldn't welcome her presence and then send her away. She shook her head and took a deep breath then opened one of the entrance doors and walked inside.

In all her years in Silas, she had never been in the university’s law library. It was smaller than the main library, of course, but it was much more intimate, traditional. Carmilla had always been fond of libraries, as they supported her reading habit for so many years, but she didn’t exactly love the modern library setting: more community hub than sacred reading space. And she understood why libraries needed to be multipurpose places, but there was something romantic about a dimly-lit space with large oak tables with soft-lit lamps, walls lined with books, and the quiet a whisper would disturb. Silas’ law school was world-renowned, and the library really looked the part.

Carmilla scanned the ground floor for any sign of Laura from where she stood near the entryway. She didn’t see her—didn’t expect it to be so easy—so she walked further into the library, trying to figure out her way around while simultaneously looking for that the light brown hair she’d become quite familiar with. She looked around the first floor, unintentionally disturbing a few other keen students, most of whom regarded her suspiciously, as if she didn’t belong in this space. And she didn’t. Not really. As a Silas student she was allowed to use the library, of course, but that didn’t mean that students often took advantage of that privilege. And people studying on Friday night weren’t probably used to complete randoms intruding their spaces. But Carmilla couldn’t care less. She was on a mission to find Laura, which she finally did on the second floor.

She was sitting at a long table in a little nook near the back corner. Carmilla spotted three other people on the floor, each occupying their own tables with massive, hardback tomes strewn about and laptops at the ready. Laura sat with her back to the main room, Carmilla presumed, so that she wasn’t distracted by anything behind her. Carmilla walked over to where she sat and, as quietly she could, she sat down at the table across from Laura, placing her backpack on the table and grabbing a book she had to read for class. Laura watched her, eyes wide and mouth agape, but she hadn’t said anything yet. Carmilla winked at her and then turned her attention to her book.

Her reading was interrupted by Laura’s frantic whispering of her name. “Carmilla,” she hissed, as quietly as she probably could. “What are you doing here?”

Carmilla didn’t say anything but lifted her book to Laura like the answer was obvious.

“But why here?” Laura whispered.

“It’s a library,” Carmilla answered in her own whisper. “And I have reading to do.”

Laura lasted an impressive ten minutes before she stood up and beckoned Carmilla to follow. Laura walked downstairs and across the main floor to the women’s restroom, which was otherwise empty.

Carmilla smiled but waited for Laura to speak. She was relieved when Laura returned her smile, even if she rolled her eyes as she did.

“Want to tell me why you’re here?”

“I told—“

“You’re not here to read. You’ve never been in here to read,” Laura reasoned.

Carmilla sighed. She might as well come clean because Laura was right. She didn’t come to the library to read. “I wanted to see you,” she admitted honestly. She ignored the way Laura’s eyes widened. “And it’s not like you can go without dinner, so I thought I’d come around dinnertime and see if I could convince you to take a break and go grab something to eat with me.”

Laura drew her eyebrows in as she looked at the ground. “I brought a protein bar for when I got hungry,” she said, looking up at Carmilla.

Carmilla nodded, but she was undeterred. “Have you eaten the protein bar yet?”

Laura shook her head. “No,” she said, smiling in a way that Carmilla thought she might be able to convince her to go get some real food.

Carmilla smiled and nodded again. “Okay, so what do you say? Just one hour of proper food and excellent company?”

Laura tilted her head, furrowing her eyebrows and smirking. “Excellent company, huh? Who else did you invite?”

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “You’re an asshole.”

“An asshole you stalked in the library for dinner company, so who’s really the asshole in this scenario?”

“You’re unbelievable,” Carmilla mumbled under her breath, making Laura laugh. “Does that mean you’ll come?” she asked.

“A break actually sounds really nice,” Laura said. “I’ve been at that seat since one.”

Carmilla took her to a small place on a side-street Laura had walked on many times, but she'd never been to this place, never even really noticed it before, despite its proximity to Silas' little downtown area. If the outside was forgettable, the inside was the complete opposite. Charming was probably the word Laura would have used to describe it: cute little bistro tables decorated with tea lights and a fireplace against the wall. The place was small, but completely full.

The server greeted them almost as soon as they entered. Laura wasn't paying attention to him or Carmilla, but she was certain he greeted her in French and that Carmilla responded in the same language.

"You know French?" Laura asked after they'd sat down.

Carmilla looked at her for a brief second and then looked down at the wine menu the server had left behind. "Oh," she said. "Yeah. I went to school in Switzerland until I was in eighth grade, and there was a really big focus of foreign languages, for obvious reasons, so I learned it. German, too, although I learned that at home. Both have been incredibly useful in philosophy."

Laura's mouth fell open. How did she not know Carmilla grew up in Europe? "How did I not know you grew up in Europe?" she asked out loud.

Carmilla shrugged her shoulders. "Why is that something you'd know?"

Laura laughed. "I don't know. Were you born in Europe?"

"No. I was born in New York, but my father was born in Austria. He worked for the UN, so I went to school in Switzerland as my parents went back and forth from Geneva to Vienna to New York until I was in high school and my parents got divorced and I ended up in this backwater town."

"With your mom?"

"Unfortunately," Carmilla sighed. "I always got along with my dad better, but he travelled too much for work. I tried to get them to let me stay in Switzerland for boarding school, but I don't think my mom wanted me so close to my dad."

"And he's still there?"

"My dad?"

Laura nodded.

"He's retired now, but he lives in Austria with his wife," Carmilla answered, still keeping an eye on the drinks menu. "How about you?"

"I grew up in a small midwestern town with my dad, although I spent a year in Manchester as an undergrad."

Carmilla looked up and raised an eyebrow at Laura, but the appearance of the waiter diverted her attention. He asked her a question—again in French, and Carmilla responded with the ease of fluency. Laura wasn't an expert on the proper French accent, but she was struggling not to find Carmilla's voice in French a complete turn-on. She almost wished they'd gone to a German place instead because German was maybe the least sexy language ever.

"Laura!" she heard Carmilla say a little loudly. By the smirk on Carmilla's face, Laura was pretty much certain it wasn't the first time that Carmilla had tried to get her attention.

"Huh?" Laura was sure she was blushing.

"I asked if you'd like a glass of wine," Carmilla revealed, confirming Laura had completely spaced out.

"No, it's okay. I have to study when this is all over," she answered, wishing she'd had a glass of water to help her cool down.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. Just a glass of water for me thanks."

Carmilla turned to the waiter and shrugged her shoulders.

He smiled and then spoke, in French-accented English this time, explaining about the dinner options. Laura listened closely, trying to figure out what half of what he said meant, but he left them with a small menu, which appeared to be a repeat of what he'd just presented to them without any indication of the cost of each plate.

"Are these the only options?" Laura asked, turning the menu over to see if anything else was listed.

"Yeah. Welcome to Silas's best kept secret, Chez Albert. The chef makes up a daily menu and only offers a few meals. But they'll all be fantastic."

Laura started to panic. Fine dining wasn't really her thing. She was raised by a single father who knew how to make three things: scrambled eggs and toast, spaghetti bolognese, and macaroni and cheese. And then there was the probable cost of this whole meal. Laura kept to a strict budget, which didn't include sit-down dinners where, in a college town, the clientele was not college-aged. But there really wasn't anything she could do but grin and bare it because she'd said yes before she bothered to get all the details. She'd just have to cut back on the mochas she bought on a daily basis for a few weeks, which she hoped would cover the cost of meal.

"Is there anything you'd recommend?” Laura asked, deciding just to go with it. "I've never been to a French restaurant before," she added shyly.

Carmilla regarded her intently for a moment and then glanced back at the menu. “You really can’t pick incorrectly, so it depends what you’re in the mood for, I guess. I really recommend the halibut. Every time I’ve had it here, in any variation, it’s always been the only thing I’ll think about for days. But you can’t go wrong with steak either—as long as you don’t ask them to overcook it.”

Laura looked at the menu warily. “Is there not something with chicken or anything?”

“Looks like duck is the poultry tonight,” Carmilla answered, “which is what I’m probably getting depending on what you choose.”

The waiter returned with their drinks. Laura decided to go with the halibut, per Carmilla’s suggestion, and Carmilla the duck. Carmilla ordered for both of them, using the correct French names and then she must have ordered something else with the way she and the waiter looked at her at the same time with cheeky smiles on their faces. When he went away, Carmilla raised her glass of wine. Laura looked at Carmilla oddly, but raised the glass of water before her.

“To new experiences, new friends, and a new year,” Carmilla said. “Happy birthday, Laura.”

Laura choked on her drink. “How’d you know about my birthday?” Laura asked. Her birthday had actually been on Wednesday, but she’d never told Carmilla about it.

“LaF mentioned it today when we met for coffee—said they and Perry had gone to lunch with you earlier in the week for your birthday. My original plan was not Chez Albert, but I made a phone call when I found out. Figured you deserved a nice treat in addition to a study break.”

“Treat?” Laura asked. This new information exonerated Carmilla from dragging her to an expensive restaurant without first giving Laura all the facts, but it also potentially changed what Laura thought this was. “You’re not think—“

“Relax, Cupcake, if we were on a date, you’d know it beforehand,” Carmilla said, beating her to the punch. She set her wine glass down and leaned forward to get closer to Laura. “Let’s get this all out in the open, shall we? Since you seemed really hung up on this and everything.”

“I’m not—“

“Laura,” Carmilla said, her head tilted to one side, her look telling Laura to shut up. “This is the second time you’ve brought it up.” Carmilla leaned back, took another sip of her wine and then took a deep breath. “Look, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find you incredibly attractive or that I think you’re of one of the most interesting people I’ve met in a really long time , but I get it, okay? You don’t like me like that or don’t have time to like me like that or whatever. It is what it is,” she said with a weird shake of her wrist. “But I also just like hanging out with you, you know? So please be assured that I’m not trying to woo or seduce you or anything. I’m happy to be your friend. Honestly.”

Carmilla looked down at her watch and the grabbed the drink list immediately after her declaration, giving Laura time to process what Carmilla had just said. So Carmilla had just admitted she liked her—as more than a friend—which was probably the best and worst thing she’d ever said to her. Because Laura had feelings—that much she knew. But she didn’t know what those feelings meant. Was it a fleeting crush, mere admiration, lust? She wasn’t at all sure, but it didn’t matter anyway. Laura was having a hard enough time surviving law school. She was barely making time for friends. How could she add dating to it, too? She’d be the worst girlfriend. And while she didn’t know Carmilla well or even know if she wanted to date her, she knew she was essentially useless to anyone at the moment. She was barely useful to herself.

Water began to accumulate around Laura’s eyes at the thought. She was tired and stressed and a really hot and super smart girl she told her she liked her, but Laura was a complete wreck and was only going to ruin it all. She tried to wipe the errant tears away from her eyes before Carmilla saw anything, but she was too late.

“Hey,” Carmilla said quietly, leaning forward again. “Why are you crying? This is supposed to be a celebration.” She had a soft smile across her face.

“Sorry,” Laura said, wiping at her eyes with the napkin Carmilla had just handed to her. “I’m just so stressed out and tired and this really beautiful girl who took me out for fancy French food because she just ‘wanted to see me’ basically told me she likes me, and now I feel like an idiot because I’m too much of a mess to do anything about it,” she said laughing derisively.

“Hey, hey,” Carmilla said, reaching for Laura’s hand. “I never said I liked you, but it’s nice to know you think I’m beautiful,” she said with a devilish smirk and a wink. She squeezed Laura’s hand before letting it go.

Laura couldn’t help the fact that she laughed. “You’re the worst.”

“I’ve been told—many times.”

“You’re not the worst,” Laura admitted quietly. “Not even close.”

Laura hadn’t been wrong about the Carmilla-waiter conspiracy. It turns out Carmilla ordered escargot for Laura to try because “it’s just something you have say you’ve tried, Creampuff.” So Laura made her buy her a glass of wine for the exchange, and she found that snails weren’t bad. They were pretty actually good if she could forget she was eating snails. But Carmilla had been right about the halibut, too. And Laura could write a thesis on the crème brûlée. Carmilla paid for the bill, even though Laura did offer to pay and Carmilla resolutely refused her offer.

When they got outside, Carmilla turned to her. “Look, I know you’re determined to study tonight, and I’ll totally respect that if that’s what you really want to do, but you clearly need a break, Ally McBeal. So forget about studying for just this night. Let’s go to the Anglerfish and make fun of all frat boys trying to pick up or we can go bowling or come to my place. We’ll watch some movie of your choosing and drink more wine or whatever, and you won’t think about your courses or the fate of your future or whatever else keeps you awake all night. You can just do something for you.”

“You’ll let me pick the movie?” Laura asked. She’d already decided she wasn’t going back to the library, and hanging out with Carmilla more sounded great.

“Anything you want that we can find. Except for any of the Lord of the Rings movies.”

Laura gasped. And Carmilla chuckled and started walking. She didn't think twice about the fact that Carmilla had started walking in the direction of where they both lived or that she simply followed. "What is wrong with the Lord of the Rings movies?" she asked.

"Other than the fact that they're long and boring and completely overrated?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Laura asked, grabbing Carmilla's bicep. "Peter Jackson's trilogy is a masterpiece."

Carmilla shrugged her shoulders. "Debatable. It's not even his best work—which is Heavenly Creatures, by the way."

Laura was appalled. "I'm not sure we can be friends anymore."

Carmilla laughed but otherwise ignored Laura's threat. "C'mon, I have a feeling I'm gonna need more wine if we're going to continue this debate."

Laura followed her without hesitation.


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In all honesty, I'm not crazy about this update, but it does set the story up for it's conclusion, so it does serve a purpose.

Carmilla watched Laura as she took in her apartment, which was a small studio adorned with little more than some books on a lone shelving unit, a reading chair—her favorite spot, and a small table that she intended to use as a desk and an eating table but was currently being used as the place she put all her things when she got home. There was, of course, her bed, which took up the majority of the space in the room and a piano up against the wall. She waited for Laura to process the fact that she didn't have a sofa or a television, two things usually required for movie nights, but Laura was still busy pursuing her bookshelf. 

"Can I get you a glass of wine or coffee or a shot of bourbon?" Carmilla offered, bringing Laura's attention on to her for a moment. 

"Last time you invited me over you promised me a hot chocolate to go with that bourbon," Laura said, smiling. 

Carmilla returned the smile. "Coming right up." She went to her kitchen area, which, given the size of her unit, was quite large. 

"I thought you said we were going to watch a movie," she head Laura say. Her voice was much closer than she expected it be. 

"That's the plan," she said, grabbing two mugs from the cabinet above her head and then rummaged through a different cabinet to find the bourbon and the hot cocoa packets while the water boiled in the kettle on the stove. 

"Where are we going to sit and watch?" Laura asked. Carmilla couldn't hold back the smirk from her face, even though her back was turned to Laura. "I noticed you don't have many places to sit."

She turned around, placing the mugs on the counter separating her kitchen from the rest of the place, where Laura stood on the other other side. 

"We can use the bed," she answered, pointing towards it with her chin. "It'll be comfortable, I promise. And completely PG, so you don't have to worry about that either," she added with a wink. 

Carmilla didn't wait to see Laura's response. Instead, she grabbed a jar of popcorn kernels and some oil and poured them into her largest pot just as the water finished boiling. 

"Your place is more modest than I thought it would be," she heard Laura say, her voice further away than it had been moments before. 

"What do you mean?" Carmilla asked, joining her near her reading chair and handing Laura her mug of cocoa. 

Laura opened her mouth to speak but then closed it again before uttering a word, shaking her head. "I'm not sure what I meant," she said when she tried again. 

"Sure you do," Carmilla said, offering Laura the reading chair while she sat at the table. "You can just say it, you know. I'll try not to be offended."

Laura sat down—not at the proffered chair but at the small table where Carmilla sat. "I don't know," she sighed. "I guess I expected something grander maybe. I mean, you're the daughter of a UN official and your mom is president of this university and the first night we met you were wearing a dress that looked like it cost more than a few months of my rent. I didn't expect a studio apartment without a couch or a TV."

Carmilla laughed. "Sorry to disappoint you, Cupcake. I warned you I was pretty boring."

"This is definitely not boring," Laura blurted. "You're like an onion. Just when I think I have some part of you figured out, you go and reveal this whole other layer. Like, how did I not know you played the piano?"

"Just because I have a piano doesn't mean I know how to play." 

Laura just looked at her with a look that communicated her attempt at deflection didn't work. "The person who lives in this space does not have a piano only for it to go unplayed," she reasoned. "Unless it was already here before you moved in. Was it already here when you moved in?"

Carmilla shook her head. “No.”

When she didn't say anything more, Laura rolled her eyes. "So do you know how to play the piano?" she asked. 

"I'm half Austrian and half German, and I attended a preppy private school in Geneva, so yes, I can play the piano," Carmilla asked. 

Laura smirked. "Will you play something for me?"

Carmilla rolled her eyes. This was why she didn't like telling people she knew how to play piano because they'd inevitably ask her to play for them. And she hated playing for people. It felt too personal to her. Like if she really let herself play Beethoven’s "Moonlight Sonata", then they'd be able to see a little to deeply into her soul. Or that's what she felt would happen.

The sound of the popcorn popping rescued her. "Sorry, Cutie. I'm being summoned." She got up and stood by the stove, waiting for that exact moment to turn the burner off.

Thankfully Laura didn't push it. "I'll drop it for now, but I want to hear you play some time."

The gesture made Carmilla actually want to play for her. "Before you leave tonight. I'll play something for you." 

Carmilla would have played her an entire recital to see that smile on her face again. 

After making the popcorn and refilling their drinks, Carmilla handed Laura her laptop while she readied the bed for their movie and told her to pick a movie. 

Laura looked at the screen, open to some e-store instead of Netflix or Carmilla's own movie inventory. "These are movies for purchase," she said out loud. 

Carmilla looked at her from the bed. "I'm aware. That's why I gave it to you with that screen open."

"We don't have to buy a movie. We don't even have to watch a movie."

"Just pick a movie, Creampuff. I knew what I was agreeing to when I offered this. It's your birthday, and the only thing I have on my computer is a documentary on philosophy I thought might be useful for my students."

Laura bit her lip. "You're sure?”

"Just pick something." And Laura did. 

—

"This movie is from before we were born," Carmilla said. They were both leaning against an array of pillows against her headboard, her computer screen resting on an elevated tray between them. 

"You don't like old movies?" Laura asked. "I figured you were the type to like really old black and white films that no one else our age watches staring Humphrey Bogart or Bette Davis or something."

"Not really. I haven't actually seen that many movies," she admitted. 

"You've seen a good number of Peter Jackson's films," Laura pointed out. 

"Ah. Well, I've seen a few movies in the lesbian canon. And _Lord of the Rings_ was a thing I endured when I was at Oxford to try and impress a girl." Laura's eyes went wide. 

"I hope she was worth the trouble," Laura said laughing. 

"Didn't even get to second base," Carmilla laughed. “Nine-plus hours of hobbits and elves and we only ever made out."

Laura laughed again. "So that's the real reason you hate those movies." Carmilla rolled her eyes. "Well, this isn't even two hours long and there are no elves or hobbits." 

"I already like it," Carmilla said "What is it anyway?" 

“'Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles...'" 

Carmilla stared at Laura blankly. Obviously this was meant to provide her a hint. She shook her head to convey she didn't know. 

"It's _The Princess Bride_. Please don't tell me you've never see _The Princess Bride_ ," Laura said. 

Carmilla shrugged her shoulders. 

"Oh my is your whole world about to change!”

 

It was still dark outside when Laura woke up. She'd woken up because she couldn't stay in a comfortable position and, after she'd been awake for a few seconds, she realized it was probably because she was still in her clothes, including her bra, from the night before. She must have taken her cardigan off because she wasn’t wearing it. As her eyes adjusted to her surroundings, she began to panic. She had somehow fallen asleep on top of Carmilla's bed because she was still on the bed, covered with a small throw, andCarmilla slept quietly on the other half but under the covers. How had she fallen asleep? When had she fallen asleep? Why didn't Carmilla wake her up and send her home?

She remembered they'd watched _The Princess Bride._ Carmilla laughed in all the right places and told her, when it was over, that she really enjoyed it more than she wanted to admit. She remembered asking about the piano again and being shocked when Carmilla didn't protest and walked over to the instrument and said, "This is the piece that won't let me go at the moment." And as she played, Laura teared up because it was all so beautiful: the song, the setting, the way Carmilla seemed to be possessed by the music as she played. She remembered they'd talked a bit after that and that she couldn't stop staring at the way Carmilla's nose would crinkle up when she talked about going fishing with her dad or having to carry out their waste, including their human waste, on backpacking trips. And then Laura listened as Carmilla talked about the place her dad lived and how much she liked Austria, despite the fact that she never really lived there. Laura remembered begging Carmilla to watch the _Sound of Music_ right then and there because it was the only movie she knew that was set in Austria and that Carmilla protested because "it's really long and it's already late," and Laura shrugged her off. She must have fallen asleep watching because she couldn't remember anything else about their night. 

She looked at her watch. It was  5:53 . The sun wouldn't rise for another hour, but she was awake and embarrassed and she had a lot of work to do that day, so she got up out of bed, and after a quick trip to the bathroom she put on her sweater and vest and boots and sent Carmilla a text to apologize for falling asleep overnight and to thank her for dinner and movies and piano solos and that she'd be in touch. And then she left. 

It was four in the afternoon. She hadn't heard from Carmilla all day, but at least she'd been productive. She was actually ahead for once and could afford another night off. She was contemplating messaging Carmilla when the phone lit up indicating a message. She smiled thinking it was from Carmilla, so she couldn't help but be disappointed when she saw it was LaFontaine who'd messaged her. 

_So we need to talk. Are you home right now?_

Laura frowned, trying to understand the apparent urgency of LaFontaine's text. 

_Yeah. Is everything okay?_ she responded back. 

She didn't get an answer, but ten minutes later, the intercom buzzed. "Hello?" she asked into the devise. 

"Hello, Laura." It was Perry's voice. "I'm here with LaFontaine."

"Hang on. I'll come get you."'

Laura walked the few steps through the building's shared entryway and front door where she found Perry and LaFontaine waiting for her. Perry handed her a small plastic container which contained about a half dozen brownies. 

"Thanks," Laura said, closing the door. She led her friends to her apartment. 

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" Laura asked with a smirk on her face. "I don't think brownies were the primary motivation."

LaFontaine looked at Perry before they sat down on the sofa. Laura took the chair. 

“We were just at Carmilla’s,” Perry began. “I can’t believe how close you guys live to one another. We thought we’d pop by on the way home if you were home, and you were.” 

Laura smiled. She hoped it didn’t look as awkward as she felt, but she couldn’t tell. “How was she?”

LaFontaine smirked in a way that made Laura even more uncomfortable. “I don’t think you need us to answer that for you,” they remarked. “By the sounds of it, you guys have been hanging out a lot.”

“I wouldn’t say a lot,” Laura protested.

“You guys hung out last night,” LaFontaine pointed out.

“We did,” Laura said. She kept her responses short, uncertain as to where this this conversation led.

“So, what do you think of her?” LaFontaine asked. “I gave up hope you guys ever becoming friends after President Morgan’s party, but you went to an art show with her and she’s playing on your softball team. I guess I’m surprised. A good surprise,” they added when Laura glared at them. “I always thought you two might hit it off.”

“Yeah,” Laura began cautiously. “So much for first impressions, huh? It’s been really nice getting to know her.”

This conversation was pretty awkward. Laura wanted to change the subject.

“What are you two up to tonight?” she asked.

Perry spoke up this time. “I’m going to my parents’ house tonight. My sister is having a baby shower tomorrow, and I’m in charge of all the food.”

Laura smiled.

“JP and I are going bowling with Kirsch for some weird reason,” LaFontaine answered. “Little do either of them know my parents forced me to pick a sport as a kid and bowling seemed the least athletically-dependent of them all, so I’ve played regularly from a young age. I’m actually pretty good.”

The conversation stalled again, and Laura couldn’t figure out why it felt so uncomfortable.

“Carmilla might come,” LaFontaine said after a few moments of silence. “If you’re not doing anything, you should join us.”

“Oh.” Laura frowned, considering her response. She didn’t particularly want to bowl, but she needed to make an effort to achieve some sort of balance, and she needed to make time for her friends. Plus, she was ahead in all her school work. “Yeah, okay.”

“Great,” LaFontaine said, the sound of their voice betraying their surprise. “Cool. Now we just need to convince Carmilla to come.”

 

It was 6:00. Carmilla stared at her computer screen, unable to finish the conclusion on a seminar paper she’d been working on most of the day. Writing the paper had been an unusual struggle. It took every ounce of her concentration, and the words still didn’t come. Not easily, at least. She blamed Raggedy Anne and Andy for interrupting her just as she finally found a modicum of rhythm, but that wasn’t entirely fair because Carmilla knew she’d felt this way from the moment she woke up and found that Laura had skulked off before the sun rose with a text that explained nothing except “ _Sorry I fell asleep in your bed. But thanks for a great night. Didn’t want to wake you. Speak soon_.”  

Laura hadn’t contacted her since, although in fairness, she hadn’t made any effort either, choosing to bury herself in work instead. LaFontaine and Perry’s visit wasn’t planned, but she was happy for the distraction, and at least Perry brought brownies. Thankfully they avoided the subject of Laura altogether and they talked about Carmilla’s readjustment to Silas after being away for so long. They only left when Carmilla said she’d considering going bowling with them, even though she had no intention of actually going. But they’d left more than a couple of hours ago, and Carmilla still hadn’t finished her paper. 

There was a knock at her door—the second time that sound interrupted her that day. She sighed and walked to the door, answering it without bothering to look through the peephole. In all likelihood it was a kid selling candy for a school fundraiser. She’d make up up some excuse about not buying and then feel bad for saying no. She didn't expect to find Laura standing in her doorway with a contrite expression, holding onto a bike helmet and a canvas bag. Carmilla hated that she thought she looked adorable in her flannel green shirt and black puffy vest, her hair slightly tussled from the helmet. Carmilla also hated that she hoped Laura didn't judge the fact that she was wearing the glasses she only let select people see and the sweatpants that she didn't allow herself to wear outside her home or the Mets t-shirt she'd had since she was in 8th grade. 

"Hey," Laura said with a cautious smile.

"Hey," Carmilla returned. She didn't know how to act around Laura at the best of times, but she was especially lost now after the text Laura last left. 

"I'm sorry about this morning," Laura began. "I was embarrassed that I'd stayed all night—in your bed—and I panicked. And then took off, making it the lamest walk of shame ever since I didn't even have sex or anything."

Carmilla shot an eyebrow up and couldn't contain her smirk, but she remained silent, wanting to hear whatever else Laura had to say. 

"And then I just felt really stupid for ducking out and didn't know what to say, so I buried myself in my work and was super productive, so I guess I'm going bowling tonight, but since I had time before that, I'd thought I'd come and try to make amends." She took a deep breath when she finished and looked hopefully up at Carmilla as she lifted up her bag. 

Carmilla was momentarily distracted by the "Grrr Argh" monster on her bag. Of course Laura was a _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ fan. "What's in the bag?" she asked. 

Laura smiled. "An apology dinner. Sort of. It's basically just bread and fancy deli meats and cheese, but I promise to make you a really kickass sandwich. So I hope you haven't eaten dinner yet."

Carmilla raised both her eyebrows but then opened her door and beckoned Laura in. "This better be a great sandwich."

Laura walked the short distance to the kitchen area and unpacked her bag, asking Carmilla where she could find a knife and other tools she needed. Carmilla watched her with both amused and confused expressions. 

"So," Laura said, as she spread some sort of mustard onto a piece of bread, "are you coming bowling tonight?" 

Carmilla sat across from Kirsch and LaFontaine as they argued about the correct way to work the scoreboard. Laura and JP were still in search of their balls. She could see them on the other side of the alley each testing one in their hand. She didn't know how Laura talked her into coming, especially since she hadn't finished her paper yet. But then she heard Kirsch talk about breaking off into teams, even though their numbers were odd, and she heard Laura say, "I'm on LaF's team."

Kirsch pleaded for JP to join him, leaving Carmilla the odd man out. She wasn't used to being the last choice in anything, but in bowling it made sense, she supposed. She hadn't been since she was in tenth grade when Elsie dragged her because some boy she had a crush on was going to be there. 

"Carmilla's with us," she heard Laura say again. 

"So we'll average the team scores at the end since we don't have even teams?" Kirsch suggested and LaFontaine agreed. 

Carmilla was definitely the Achilles heel for her team. They were in the eighth frame and all she'd managed was a measly score of 72. LaFontaine's score was more than double hers, and Laura's was respectably just over 100. 

"Thanks for coming," Laura said, plopping into the seat next to Carmilla. She was a little tipsy from the beer they'd bought. 

Carmilla smiled. She couldn't help it. Laura looked so relaxed and content it was really adorable. "Didn't want to face these guys alone, eh?" she asked. 

Laura ducked her head as JP walked up for his second bowl. "It's not that. They're all great. It's just you make everything better."

Carmilla laughed. 

"What?" Laura asked. "Why are you laughing."

"Because you're soppy when you're drunk and say funny things," Carmilla answered. 

"I'm not drunk. If I was drunk I wouldn't be bowling so well."

"You're at a hundred and two. I wouldn't quit law school in pursuit of a professional bowling career."

Laura flipped her off. Carmilla laughed again. 

"Thanks, though, for the compliment," Carmilla said after a quiet moment as they watched LaFontaine bowl a strike. 

LaFontaine walked over after their turn and looked at both Laura and Carmilla. "Okay, Carmilla, you're up next. Can you maybe get a seven or higher in your next turn? You're killing us, Karnstein."

"You're the one who invited me. I made no promises I could play this game."

Kirsch bowled a strike and LaFontaine just groaned loudly. "Carmilla, I will name my firstborn after you if you get at least a strike."

"You don't even want kids," Carmilla said as she stood and walked to the ball return. 

"That doesn't invalidate my offer."

Carmilla only managed to get three pins down, and she really did try for LaFontaine's sake. 

"What the fuck, Carmilla?" she heard LaFontaine yell, eliciting laughter form Kirsch and JP. "Three? That's the best you could do?" 

Carmilla shrugged her shoulders and went to sit. She couldn't wait for it to be over.

But Laura came to her rescue. "Leave her alone, LaF. This is supposed to be fun," she said, squeezing Carmilla's shoulder as she walked up for her turn and then winked at her when Carmilla caught her eyes. 

Carmilla rewarded the gesture with a smile and only turned away when LaFontaine made a retching noise behind her. 

"What?" Carmilla said, shrugging her shoulders. 

"Nothing," LaFontaine said, shaking their head and holding up their hands in mock surrender. 

Despite a heroic final two frames by LaFontaine and Laura, their team lost by three points, and they moved their party to a near-by chain-restaurant that had food and alcohol—the kind of place that existed despite its offering of bland, over-priced alcohol and poorly-executed dishes because it was so inoffensive. It was there that Carmilla learned the real reason for LaFontaine's eagerness to win. Kirsch and LaF had a bet that the loser would buy the other one dinner. But the night wasn't a total waste because while Kirsch, LaFontaine, and JP argued over video games Carmilla had never heard of, she got to talk to Laura. 

 

Laura didn't see Carmilla the rest of the weekend, but as it was Monday, she knew she'd see her later that night. She just had to get through her classes and dinner with Danny before softball  at 8:00 . 

She'd spent most of Sunday, when she wasn't immersed in the study of law, to trying to figure out what was happening between her and Carmilla, especially considering the weekend they'd had and the fact that Laura couldn't wait to see her again. Laura likened it to ninth grade when she met Gwen Orland and they became fast friends—someone Laura felt she had always known, like maybe in some past life, if she believed in that. But Carmilla was different than Gwen because Carmilla was gorgeous, like A-list actress gorgeous, even in glasses (which Laura thought only added to her beauty) and sweatpants and a thinning t-shirt and her hair haphazardly thrown up into a bun. And Carmilla was gay. These were things Laura never had to contend with with Gwen, who was as average looking as Laura felt she was and was definitely straight. But Laura didn't have a crush on Carmilla. She couldn't have a crush on Carmilla. She didn't have time for crushes and pretty—really pretty—distractions from a girl who called her beautiful and interesting and who she couldn't stop thinking about since  Saturday morning . 

"Laura!" Danny was standing by their small dining room table digging cartons out of a takeout bag. When had Danny gotten home? Laura wondered, looking up at her housemate from the sofa. 

Danny rolled her eyes. "I asked if you didn't mind getting us plates."

"Oh. Yeah. Right. Of course." Laura walked to the kitchen and grabbed the plates and a fork for Danny and a set of chopsticks for herself since she couldn't stand the cheap wooden ones they gave at the restaurant. 

"You're distracted, Hollis. Everything okay?" Danny asked, serving herself a portion of sweet and sour pork. 

"Yeah. Just school stuff," Laura lied. 

Danny seemed to take her at face value. "Mrs. Wang wanted me to tell you hello as she added two more fortune cookies into our bag and winked at me. I don't know what you did to get on that woman's good side, but I am eternally grateful for the good service and extra cookies."

"I think she took pity on me since I ate at her restaurant four times a week when I first moved here."

"Well, she also gave us extra egg rolls, so thank you," Danny said, biting into one of the egg rolls. "So," she said, not quite stopping to swallow her food, "what have you been up to? I feel like you're not trapped in your room as much as you usually are, and when I see you you're either reading or typing messages on your phone—usually with a giant smile on your face—which leads me to believe you're seeing someone. So spill, Hollis."

"I'm not seeing anyone," Laura said, quickly correcting Danny. 

"Not even in the pre-dating phase?"

"The what?"

"You know, that period before you start dating someone where you're just getting to know them and you're stuck nursing a crush until one of you does something about it."

Laura felt her ears heat up, but she was sure Danny didn't see it since she was lookingdown at her plate. "No pre-dating either," Laura confirmed. 

Danny shrugged her shoulders. "If you say so. Although, if I'm right and you start dating someone in the next month, you have to clean the bathroom for a month."

Laura quickly agreed. It wasn't like she was lying. 

 

Laura tried to ignore her conversation with Danny when she arrived at the field and smiled when she saw Carmilla lacing up her cleats and talking to Mel. 

"Hey, guys," she said when she got close enough to them. 

"Hollis," Mel said, acknowledging her with a head nod before walking away to talk to their third baseman. 

Carmilla didn't say hello but smiled and winked at her, and Laura broke out into a smile again. 

"Nice shirt," Laura said to Carmilla. Theo got her a Legal Eyes shirt last week, despite Carmilla's protest that the name was dumb and she was glad she started with the team after the shirts were bought so she didn't have to wear one. Laura assumed the shirt was a thank you gift from Theo that she remained on the team. 

Predictably, Carmilla rolled her eyes. "Theo said I had to wear it. Whatever. At least it's black and white." She grabbed her glove and stood up. "Want to go warm up?"

"Sure."

 

They were losing by one run in their final inning, but with runners on first and third and only one out, they were in a good position to tie the game and possibly win. The problem was Laura was up to bat, and Laura was pretty terrible. She'd reached base exactly three times in the games they'd played including this one. She was basically an automatic out—two sometimes, when she managed to make contact with the ball when their were runners in position for a double play, like she was in right now. 

Theo, who had been pitching the inning so far, called time and walked towards home plate, while beckoning Laura to meet him halfway, away from the ears of the other team's catcher. 

"Just leave the bat on your shoulder. We'll take your out and then let Samuel bring Carmilla home, okay?" he told her. 

Laura's shoulders slumped. She knew she was basically useless for this team except for the fact that she was a female body, but this was the first time someone voiced that fact out loud, and even though it was probably the best strategy for her team, it didn't make her feel good about herself. Part of her wanted to just walk off and watch the rest of the game from the bench. Another part of her wanted to defy Theo's orders and just try to hit the ball anyway. It's not like striking out wasn't her usual, although unintentional, play anyway. But the logical part of her nodded her acquiescence and she walked back towards her position at home plate. 

"Come on, Laura!" she heard Carmilla yell from first base. "You've got this."

Carmilla's encouragement only made her feel worse. Carmilla hadn't given up on her. 

Theo's first pitch was slow and right up the middle, and she couldn't help herself. She swung. And she missed. Badly. She heard Carmilla's encouragement again and got back into the batter's box. Theo glared at her from the mound. 

The second pitch was at her thigh, but she went for it anyway in complete defiance of Theo's plan. She missed it again. 

Theo shook his head. He looked pissed. 

"This is it, Laura." Carmilla continued her encouragement from third base, clapping her hands and smiling when Laura briefly made eye contact with her. 

Laura readied herself for her final pitch. She had a good feeling about this one. Theo started his throw and Laura dutifully kept her eye on the ball, waiting for the right moment to swing. But as the ball began to make a premature decent before it reached home plate, Laura swung and missed. But she never really had a shot. And when she looked up to see Theo's back was turned away from her she knew he'd intentionally pitched her a ball she'd never have been able to hit. 

"What the hell was that, Straka?" she heard Carmilla yell as she walked back to the dugout. 

Samuel gave her a look of sympathy and understanding as she walked past him. She watched as he hit a ball to the fence on his first pitch, bringing Carmilla and the guy on first base home—a walk-off hit. Her team rushed over to him in celebration, but Laura stayed rooted to the bench, humiliated and dejected. 

"Hey." It was Carmilla's voice. 

Laura exhaled a breath. "Hey."

"Theo's an asshole," she said, sitting down next to Laura. 

"Yeah. But he was right," she admitted. "Strategically speaking he was right. And I didn't listen."

"Bullshit. This isn't a pennant race and he's not Babe Ruth. And who knows, you could have had a Mazeroski moment."

Laura looked up, brows furrowed. "A what moment?"

"Mazeroski. You know, Bill Mazeroski. The Pirates?"

Laura shook her head. 

"Bill Mazeroski is one of only two people to hit a World Series ending walk-off home run," Carmilla explained. "But unlike Joe Carter—he was the other guy to do it with the Blue Jays—who was known for his slugging, no one would have expected Mazeroski to hit such an important run."

Laura smirked. "I was never going to hit a home run."

"Probably not," Carmilla agreed. "But maybe you would have gotten a hit. Theo didn't even give you that chance."

"It doesn't matter," Laura said. She knew, intellectually, that it really didn't matter—that what she was dealing with was wounded pride and a deep-seeded feeling that she was basically useless. But that wasn't Theo's fault. And, yeah, maybe he was a jerk about it, but Theo was a jerk about a lot of things. 

"You're sure? You seem upset, and it's understandable that you would be."

Laura sighed. She liked this attentive and supportive version of Carmilla a lot. "I'm fine. Honestly. Let's just head to the bar."

"You really want to head to the Liar's Heart with those guys?"

Laura looked over at their teammates as they began walking back to the dugout. "Not really," she said," but I'm going to anyway. You coming?"

"Well you're going," Carmilla said, "so yeah."

 

Carmilla and Laura had established a bit of a routine at their after-game meet-up. Laura found a small table for them, preferably a booth in the corner, while Carmilla grabbed their drinks: vodka cranberry for Laura and an ale for herself. Mel usually joined them after a few minutes alone and then, inevitably a small group of the guys always tried joining in—usually to hit on Carmilla because she was disconnected to the group and because she was gorgeous. But this night the boys seemed to leave them alone, which Laura suspected had to do with what happened in that last inning and less to do with the fact that Carmilla had pretty much rejected all the guys on the team. Mel still sat down, which Laura didn't mind. She sat next to Laura. 

"Thank God you guys came," she said when she settled in the booth.

"Why wouldn't we have come?" Laura asked. 

"Because you looked pretty upset at the end of the game and Carmilla looked like she was going to murder our captain."

"Still might," Carmilla interjected. 

Laura looked at Carmilla with a small smile but directed her words at Mel. "A win's a win. We should celebrate that."

Mel raised her bottle to mimic the clinging of glasses in a toast, but brought it back to her mouth before Laura could join. 

"How are the Halloween party plans coming along?" Mel asked, changing the subject. 

Carmilla looked at Laura, her eyebrows furrowed. 

"It's going into the campus announcements this week."

"What Halloween party?" Carmilla asked, her eyes moving back and forth to Laura and Mel. 

"The Law Society hosts a Halloween party every year to raise money for legal aide," Mel answered. "Laura's the grad representative on the planning committee."

"So that means you're going to this party," Carmilla said to Laura. 

"Of course, which means you're going too," Laura answered. 

"But, see, you never invited me to this party. I might have plans. I mean, we're only a couple of weeks away from Halloween."

Laura's face fell. "I got distracted. But I want you to come. It's for a good cause."

"I suppose I can make an appearance in that case," Carmilla drawled. "I usually go as a vampire anyway. It's easy enough." She shrugged her shoulders. 

"A vampire, Carm? Really?" Laura scrunched her face to communicate she was not impressed. "That's lame. I've got a much better idea."

"Are you going to tell me what this idea is?"

"Not yet."

"Fine. You're responsible for getting it together." Carmilla sat back and munched on a tortilla chip. "What are you dressing up as, Mel?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone interested, the piece I imagined Carmilla plays for Laura is "[Comptine d'un autre été](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvryolGa19A)" by Yann Tiersen from the Amelie soundtrack. I may have listened to the song on repeat on my 45 minute commute to work one day a couple of weeks ago.
> 
> Also, I was re-reading [Fate Is Kind](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3789670/chapters/8434642) this week and noticed a weird, albeit unintentional, similarity with my bowling scene and the one in Hollstein1698's fic. Fate Is Kind is so good and I feel it's completely underrated in the fandom, so go read that if you haven't already or read it again because it's that good.


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm posting a few hours later than I normally have. It's been a busy day and this update is long.

Laura hadn't really seen Carmilla the following two weeks. It felt weird after the weekend they'd had, but Laura was busy with school and this Halloween party and Carmilla seemed busy, too, with reading and writing and grading. They'd seen each other at softball and they'd talked through messages back and forth, but that was it until only a few hours before the party when Laura showed up at Carmilla's apartment and brought over their costumes. 

Carmilla laughed when Laura finally revealed her plan. Laughed! But Laura was glad she was willing to go along with it. It didn't stop Carmilla from asking her a ton of questions, like: "Where'd you find this shirt?" "Where did you find find that dress?" "Is anyone going to even know who you and I are?" But she put the costume on without protest, and now they were at the party, which was held at a sorority house on campus. 

Carmilla had wandered off in search of drinks, leaving Laura to talk to some of her law school friends, until she saw LaFontaine and JP enter and she excused herself to go talk to them. 

"We're Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson," JP said before Laura could ask. Their costumes looked great. 

"Didn't peg you for the second fiddle, LaF," Laura teased. 

"JP's a librarian. It made sense for him to be the lead detective. And Watson is the science man. Believe me when I say we thought this through," LaFontaine explained as Laura laughed. 

"You're obviously Cinderella, or some other princess-type thing. Where's your Prince Charming? Carmilla not here?"

Laura rolled her eyes. LaFontaine had recently begun teasing her about Carmilla, even though Laura repeatedly told her they were just friends. 

"I'm Princess Buttercup," she revealed. JP and LaFontaine looked at her blankly. "From _The Princess Bride_ ," she added. That seemed to spur some recollection. Laura had made her friends watch it last year when she learned they'd never seen it. 

"Isn't that some great love story?" JP asked, removing the pipe from his mouth. 

"Only one of the greatest," Laura confirmed. 

LaFontaine was starring at her, smirking. "So Carmilla isn't that big, bad pirate guy from the movie, then," they said with the most obnoxious grin on their face as Laura's face turned bright red. 

"Hey, guys," Carmilla said, appearing from somewhere and handing Laura a bottle of water. "Sherlock and Watson. That's cute."

"Not as cute as the two of you," LaFontaine said, pointing between the two. They looked like they were really struggling to keep their mouth shut. "You're that pirate guy from _The Princess Bride_ , right?"

"It's the Dread Pirate Roberts, or just Westley, LaF. You saw the movie," Laura huffed. 

"This was Laura's idea," Carmilla said, gesturing to her outfit with her hands. "I basically already had the entire costume. But everyone thinks I'm Zorro, which isn't the worst."

"Better than going as a vampire six years in a row," JP said. 

Carmilla flipped him off. "Where's Betty Crocker?" 

"She'll be here soon. She was helping Kirsch with his costume," LaFontaine answered. "They're coming as Lucy and Ricky from _I Love Lucy_. I told them no one would know what that is, but Perry was adamant about it, and it's not like anyone will know who you guys are, so they'll be in good company."

Laura rolled her eyes. "I've got to go check on some things, so I'll catch up with you guys later." She wandered off to the kitchen, leaving her friends behind. 

—-

Laura found LaFontaine talking to Perry. A lot of people were crammed into the house, so many that they had to stop selling tickets, which they didn't expect. Laura considered the evening a success.

"Where are Kirsch and JP?" Laura asked.

LaFontaine shrugged their shoulders, looking around. "They left about ten minutes ago to see if they could find those little bagel pizzas that were going around. Where's Carmilla?" they asked. 

"I'm not sure. I haven't seen her for a while. She didn't text to tell me she's going home, so..."

"There she is," Perry said, pointing to some spot behind Laura. 

Laura turned around and saw Carmilla in the kitchen, pressed up against the counter, trapped there by some girl. Carmilla was smiling at this girl and just chatting away and Laura couldn't ignore how devastated the entire scene made her feel. 

"Who's she talking to?" LaFontaine asked. 

Laura shook her head. "I don't know."

"You should go over there," LaFontaine prodded. 

Laura turned her head away from whatever was happening in the kitchen and looked briefly at her friends and shook her head. But then she turned her gaze back at Carmilla and the girl dressed as a French maid. Such a cliché, Laura thought. And Carmilla looked like she was eating it up. 

"You're both idiots," she heard LaFontaine say. 

Laura turned her attention away from Carmilla, taking some comfort that she was shaking her head and had removed her arm away when the girl tried to reach for it. The smile was still plastered all over her face though.

"What are you talking about?" Laura asked. 

"You and Carmilla. You both like each other—"

"I don't have time for a relationship right now. I told her that," Laura interrupted, admitting more than she intended. She blamed it on the fact that Carmilla was continuing to talk to a girl who wasn't her or Perry or Mel or anyone else she knew wasn't a threat. But that thought really was ridiculous. 

"You guys discussed this?" The question came from Perry, who kept looking at LaFontaine as if to gauge whether or not her best friend knew more than she did. 

"A couple of times, yeah. It was mostly me sticking my foot in my mouth and her being amused, but we've talked about it," Laura admitted. 

"And?" Perry prodded. 

"And nothing. She never asked me out or anything, but I told her I didn't have time even think about dating anyone right now—"

"Despite the fact that you've both been attached to the hip for a while now. And you probably see her more than you see Danny, and you live with _her_. Your time excuse is shit and you know it." LaFontaine had always been good at delivering the truth. 

It hit Laura in that moment. That feeling she couldn’t quite define was crystal clear. ”Shit,” Laura said. "I like Carmilla, guys.” LaFontaine and Perry nodded, both looking like this wasn't the revelation of the century. "And I've fucked it all up. She called me attractive and interesting and I fucked it all up. And now she's probably trying to move on. She can't move on!"

"Laura, you need to breathe, honey." Perry grabbed her shoulders and began deep breathing. "Carmilla is only talking to that girl. That's all. So just breathe."

Laura's breathing returned to normal, but she still looked so forlorn. 

"Smile, Hollis," LaFontaine said. "Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery."

"You're not helping, LaFontaine," Perry scolded. 

LaFontaine rolled their eyes. "I meant that now that she’s willing to admit what was so painfully obvious to everyone, she can do something about it."

Laura looked even more terrified at the thought. 

—-

Carmilla had had enough of this girl. Mary-Jane, or something close to that. She couldn’t remember and didn’t care. She’d trapped Carmilla in the kitchen when Carmilla went searching for a small snack. She hated parties like this. She didn’t know what to do at them. There were people out back playing some weird version of beer pong and a few people seated around a bonfire in the backyard, but Carmilla wasn’t one for small talk or loud places. She’d spent most of the night with her friends, but then JP and Kirsch left in search of snacks and she decided to follow, losing them at some point, and now she was stuck in this conversation with girl in a French maid costume who didn’t understand the social mores regarding personal space, nor could she, through all her flirting, pick up the cues that Carmilla wasn’t interested.

  
“What did you say you were studying?” The girl asked.

“I didn’t.”

“Let me guess,” the girl said. “Business?” Carmilla’s eyes shot up. She wanted to laugh. “Economics?” Carmilla bobbed her head but didn’t say anything. “Political Science?”

Carmilla couldn’t take it anymore. “Philosophy,” she said. “I’m pursuing a PhD in philosophy.”

Something Jane’s face soured. “Why?” the girl asked. “What do you think you’re going to do with a philosophy degree?”

Carmilla shrugged her shoulders but didn’t attempt to answer the question. It wasn’t this girl’s business what she was going to; she didn’t intend to speak to this girl ever again.

“I’m going to be a lawyer,” the girl said, as if Carmilla had asked the question. “I’ve seen you play for our softball team. You’re really good.”

Carmilla gave her a closed-lipped smile.

“You’re a friend of Laura’s right?” she asked.

“Yeah. You know her?” Suddenly Carmilla was interested in the conversation.

“Yeah,” the girl scoffed. “I know her.”

“You don’t like her?”

“She’s such a know-it-all and never shuts up in class, so no one can ever say anything. And she’s a prude. You could do better.” She tried to run her finger down Carmilla’s arm again, but Carmilla used her other hand to remove the girl’s finger.

“Oh, hello, Sarah Jane.” Sarah Jane! That’s what the girl’s name was. But Carmilla still didn’t care; she was just relieved to hear Laura’s voice.

By instinct, she put her arm around Laura’s shoulders when Laura sided up to her to face Sarah Jane.

“Laura, we were just talking about you,” Sarah Jane said, smiling.

“All good things, I hope.” She snuck her arm around Carmilla’s waist.

Sarah Jane smiled but didn't say anything else. 

"Sarah Jane was just telling me how much she admires all the preparation you do for class," Carmilla answered, twisting Sarah Jane's words, hoping she'd get the hint this time that she wasn't interested. 

Laura smiled up at Carmilla, tickling Carmilla's hip with her fingers. She didn't think Laura knew she was even doing it. But then she smiled at Sarah Jane. "I'm going to steal Carm here," she said. "It's almost time to award the costume prizes, and we're sort of a packaged deal in that regard." She turned to Carmilla. "Ready?"

Carmilla smiled, then replied," As you wish." They left Sarah Jane behind without any other goodbye. 

—-

They didn't win the award for best pairs costume, but they weren't eligible, as Laura was on the committee. The award went to the people dressed Tina and Louise Belcher, who, JP pointed out, weren't even a duo, but LaFontaine didn't seem to care and Carmilla didn't even know who they were. 

Laura had to stay to help clean up, so Carmilla left with their friends, but not before Laura pulled her aside to say goodbye. 

"Thanks for doing this with me, Carm," she said. 

"Of course."

"I'm sorry we didn't get to hang out that much with me doing committee stuff."

"It's okay. I got to have that riveting conversation with your classmate, remember?" Carmilla winked. 

Laura hoped she successfully hid the disdain she felt remembering watching that scene play out from afar. "Sarah Jane is..." Laura paused, trying to phrase her thoughts properly. "She hasn't been very nice to me. I sort of freaked out when I saw you smiling at her," she admitted, grateful they were in a dimly lit hallway that probably covered her blush. 

"I wasn't smiling with any sincerity," Carmilla assured her. "She was really boring and kind of dense."

Laura laughed. "She's actually really smart."

"Maybe at doing law school, but she doesn't know the first thing about flirting with women."

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Laura asked, changing the subject.

"I'm having lunch with my mother," she groaned. 

Laura laughed. "Do you want to hang out after? I'll cook you dinner."

Carmilla looked at her like she'd grown another head or something. But when Laura smiled, Carmilla relaxed and smiled back at her. 

"Yeah. I'd like that," she said. 

Laura's smile grew. "Okay. Good. Come over any time after six."

"Okay."

They stood there just looking at each other, smiling, neither moving. 

"I better go help with the clean up," Laura said after a moment. 

"Yeah. I better go find LaF or I'll be walking home. I'll see you tomorrow."

Laura leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Carmilla's neck—their first hug—which was basically the worst idea ever since Carmilla smelled so good and when Carmilla wrapped her arms around Laura's waist and pulled them closer together, Laura's only thought was that they fit really well together. 

"See you tomorrow, Carm."

—-

Carmilla rang Laura's doorbell just before  6:30 . She hadn't actually spent any time at Laura's, not since they'd met that first night when Laura provided a safe space for her to sleep after being drugged at her mom's party, so being invited over felt significant. 

"Hey," Laura said when she opened the door. 

"Hey." Carmilla smiled in that shy, awkward way she always did when she tried to keep herself from smiling. 

Laura took in her body, going so far as twirling her around, and Carmilla had no idea what was going on. 

"Just checking to see if you were still in one piece after hanging out with your mom. But everything looks normal, so come in."

Carmilla shook her but followed her in. "Is Danny here?" she asked, dropping her coat and scarf onto the chair she sat in that morning wearing only the NAVY t-shirt and a pair of underwear. 

"No. The volleyball team she coaches had an away game tonight and they're staying overnight," Laura explained as she walked towards to kitchen. "It's a state tournament game or something like that, so Danny said they had to travel further than normal. So she's out for the night."

"So it's just us tonight?" Carmilla asked, joining Laura in the kitchen and handing her the bottle of wine she'd brought. 

"Yeah," Laura said, stirring something in a pot. Whatever it was smelled delicious. She looked back at Carmilla, a little bit nervous. "I hope that's okay," she said. "After last night I wanted a quiet night in and we didn't really get to hang out so..."

"Sounds good," Carmilla said, smiling. "Can I help with anything?"

"Open the wine and pour us a couple of glasses? There should be an opener in that drawer," Laura said, gesturing unhelpfully with her head, "and glasses are in the cabinet on the left side of the sink."

Carmilla grabbed the bottle back and went in search of items in question. With a corkscrew in hand, she said, "It smells delicious. What are you making?"

Laura looked over her shoulder, back at Carmilla, with a small smile on her face. "It's my nona's lasagna recipe. If I make it correctly you're in for a treat."

"You're nona? You're Italian?"

"Only, like, a quarter," Laura answered. "But my grandmother was the real-deal. She left Italy when she was two."

Carmilla really didn't know where to take that line of conversation. She handed Laura her glass and leaned back against the counter facing Laura's back and took a sip from her own. 

"I didn't get to see her much," Laura continued. "She was my mom's mom, but my parents divorced when I was eight and my mom moved to Nigeria to work for an NGO. But my dad made me go stay with her parents for at least a week every year."

"Unless your grandparents were horrible people, your dad sounds like a decent guy," Carmilla said. 

Laura turned and smiled at her. "My grandparents were wonderful. They've both since died. And my dad is the best." She turned back around. 

Carmilla laughed. "Is there anything else I can do to help?" 

Laura faced her again and just looked in her eyes for a bit. "Just keep me company?" 

Carmilla nodded and Laura resumed working on their lasagna. 

"Did you ever go visit your mom in Nigeria?” she asked, after she hopped up to sit on the counter. 

Laura tensed a bit, holding a lasagna noodle mid air and Carmilla wished she could take the question back. 

"Once," she said. "When I was sixteen. My dad made me go for Christmas break."

"You didn't like it?" Carmilla didn't know why she asked. 

"Nigeria was fine," Laura said, spreading ricotta around in a casserole dish. "I just didn't like being around my mom and having to watch her give herself to all these women and children and them treating her like she was this great, selfless woman when she couldn't even stick around to watch her daughter grow up."

Carmilla didn't know what to say. She was never good in awkward situations. Luckily for her, Laura continued. 

"Sorry. My mom's a bit of a sore subject. She lives in Houston now, but I don't speak to her that often, especially now that I no longer live with my father and he can't force or guilt me into calling her anymore."

"Hey, you're preaching to the choir here when it comes to mommy issues."

Laura placed the lasagna into the oven and set a timer. She grabbed her glass and lifted it towards Carmilla. "I'll drink to that," she said before taking a generous sip of wine. 

They were silent for a moment and Carmilla was unsure whether this was a good silence or a bad one. But then Laura shook her quickly back and forth, which seemed to snap herself out of a trance. 

"The lasagna's going to take a little while, so let's go sit down," she said as she walked towards the living room. "Speaking of mothers, I want to hear about your lunch."

Laura sat down on the couch and patted the sofa indicating that Carmilla should sit on the other end or the sofa instead of in what she loosely considered her chair. She placed her glass on the coffee table and then ran her fingers through her hair. 

"Lunch was surprisingly okay," she said. "She asked me how my courses were going and how I found the undergraduates I teach. I asked about her job. And, in typical Lilita fashion, she reprimanded me for slouching and dressing much too casually, but considering what she usually says, it was okay."

"That's good, I guess," Laura said, nodding her head slowly up and down. "Did you mention anything about what happened at the party?"

Carmilla smirked at Laura. The girl really couldn't let a subject lie, as LaFontaine had said in this very room so many weeks ago. "She tried to bring it up casually. Something to the effect of 'You and Congressman Renchler's daughter seemed to hit it off at that party.' And I couldn't help myself, so I may have mumbled, 'Yeah, until she drugged me,' forgetting my mother had bionic hearing. So I told her the whole story and she laughed. It was a Lilita Morgan laugh, so it was a little bit scary and uncomfortable, but it wasn't her sinister laugh."

"Your mother finds out you were drugged and possibly nearly raped and she laughs?" Laura asked. She looked horrified. 

Carmilla simply shrugged. "I'd rather have laughter than a reprimand."

"Geez. And I thought my childhood was bad."

Carmilla laughed. "Oh, it gets better. My mother then tells me that years ago, after we lived her for a year or so, Ell Renchler caught her father and my mother in bed together, and they both had to bribe her not to say anything. She basically had her pick of a car from what I understand."

Laura's jaw had dropped at the revelation, and it still hung open. She seemed to start to speak and then she'd suddenly stop. She did that a few times before she said, "Okay, first, ew.No one wants to hear that about their mom." 

Carmilla shrugged her shoulders again but didn't say anything else. Neither of her parents were the most faithful during their marriage. Hell, her father was now married to her childhood nanny. 

"And secondly, is her theory that Ell acted independently that night?"

"Her guess is that Ell was using me to get back at her for sleeping with her father. She didn't seem too concerned that there was a big conspiracy. She and the congressman have apparently continued an occasional affair of sorts, so she doesn't see how or why he'd be involved."

Laura rubbed her temples and then her eyes. She seemed more bothered by this than Carmilla was, which amused Carmilla to no end. 

"So we don't need to worry about it happening again? You're not this easy-to-access target and, other than your mother sleeping with a married man, your mother isn't involved in some grand conspiracy or cover up or anything like that where people might use you to get to her?"

Carmilla smiled. "If she was she certainly wouldn't tell me," she said. "But thank you for worrying about me." She was smirking now. "It's nice to know you care."

She meant for it to be a light jab, but the look in Laura's eyes was serious. "Of course I care." 

"Need I remind that the night this happened you hated my guts?"

"I didn't hate your guts," she said, looking somewhat forlorn. "I didn't even know you."

"Hey, that was months ago." Carmilla said. Her voice was soft, placating. 

"It was only two and a half months ago," Laura said, still clearly upset. 

"And I wasn't entirely faultless that night. It's not like I didn't enjoy antagonizing you." She poked Laura's shoulder, eliciting the smallest of smiles from her. 

"You did seem to have it out for me."

"Only because you looked at me with contempt!" Carmilla defended, laughing softly as she spoke. "I had to find a way to compensate for my wounded pride."

Laura's raised an eyebrow. "Your wounded pride? What? Because a girl didn't bow at the alter of your 'charm'?" she teased, emphasizing the last word with air quotes. 

"You weren't just a girl though. You were Laura!" That got Laura's attention. Her eyes went wide. "LaF and Perry mentioned you basically all the time. 'We have this new friend. She's brilliant. You'd like her.' Or 'Laura's sarcasm might give yours a run for its money.' Or 'We went out with the gang. Being out with Laura is a lot like being out with you. People are always hitting on her or flirting with her.' They would not shut up about you. I thought LaF had a huge crush on you for a while they way they went on about you."

"I had no idea," Laura said, looking shy all of a sudden. 

"Yeah," Carmilla continued. "So when you were rude to me even before we'd been introduced, I was a little... How should I put this? I was hurt, I guess. You'd been built up in my mind for nearly a year and there you were, as beautiful and sarcastic as LaF said you were. And you hated me the second I opened my mouth. I guess I wasn't expecting that, so I just kept trying to piss you off. Not my most mature move, but I was mostly just acting on instinct."

"And Ell?" Laura asked. "You seemed to like that she fell for your charm."

"Ell is a pretty girl, who seemed willing to have a good time," Carmilla admitted, "but she was so boring."

Laura laughed. 

"And I hoped that my being with her would piss you off even more, and it seemed to work."

Laura fidgeted where she sat. "It definitely worked."

"Anyway, that was forever ago. It happened and, if it wasn't for Ell we may not even be where we’re at right now."

"Yeah, I guess you’re right." Laura laughed. She placed her glass on the coffee table and stood up. "I'm going to check on the lasagna. I'll be right back."

Carmilla furrowed her brows and wondered if she was overthinking Laura's odd reaction. 

—-

Carmilla liked the lasagna well enough to have two pieces. That, and she told Laura how much she liked it when she first bit into it—that she hadn't tasted a lasagna that good since she had some in Italy the summer before her senior year of high school. Laura was relieved. But she was also a bit of a wreck. She had Carmilla all to herself and she didn't know how to talk to her, much less make any kind of move. 

Laura stood at her kitchen sink rinsing off the dishes  from dinner , while Carmilla did who knows what in her living room. Laura didn't know what to do. Should she suggest they go to a bar? go for a walk? stay in and watch a movie? She didn't have a plan for anything after dinner. But she couldn't keep stalling in the kitchen either, so she turned off the faucet and joined Carmilla back in her living room. 

Carmilla wasn't in the living room. Laura panicked thinking she'd left, but her coat and scarf were on top of the chair, so the rational part of her brain figured she'd just gone to the bathroom. She walked towards it to make sure, but the door was open and the lights were off. Instead, she found Carmilla in her room, standing in front of a frame on one of the walls, and Laura was momentarily mortified. She regretted putting it up, but her father had given it to her—one of his proudest moments—he'd told her, and she put it up in her room. It was a frame containing a copy of her first published article, which was a feature in her town's local paper about her neighbor, a woman who devoted most of her free time to rehabilitating "misunderstood" dogs. She was eleven when she wrote the article and submitted it on a whim. But the paper sent her a check for the submission. They even used the photo she'd taken that day of her and her neighbor and her neighbor's dog Russell, a pitbull she'd rescued four years ago. She'd set her father's camera up on a tripod and used the timer setting, and the camera captured the exact moment when Russell licked Laura's face, while she and her neighbor smiled for the camera. Carmilla must have missed seeing it when she'd spent the night in her room. 

Carmilla smiled at Laura when she registered her presence. "You had a crush on your neighbor," she said, surprising Laura. She expected her to say it was "cute" or make fun of her or something, not what actually came out of her mouth. 

"What?"

She looked at Laura, pointing to the frame. "Evelyn Parker," she said. 

"I was eleven and Evelyn Parker was in her late twenties. How would I even know what a crush was?" Laura laughed. 

"I didn't say you knew you had a crush on her, just that you did. It's cute."

There it was. "She moved away a couple of years later. Neighbors complained about all the dogs barking, so she bought a farm just outside of town and opened up a dog sanctuary full time. I wonder if she's still there."

"Is this what inspired your journalism?"

"Probably. I got a lot of attention for the article. It was addicting."

"So why are you doing law?"

"When I was in university, I pitched a piece on a some run-down apartment buildings the university had bought to tear down and rebuild into off-campus student housing. But the deal was going to displace many people, most notably low-educated single mothers who didn't have many housing options to begin with. The university threatened to expel me if I went ahead with the piece."

"And you did it anyway." It wasn't a question. When Laura turned to look at Carmilla, she had that patented smirk on her face. 

"Of course I did."

"Did they expel you?"

"Almost," Laura replied with a wink. "They certainly tried to, but they didn't have any legal grounds. Freedom of the press is a fundamental right."

"So that fight piqued your interest in law?" Carmilla guessed. 

"That certainly aided it. It was terrifying but so satisfying going up against a big institution, but it was actually a small detail I found buried in the contract of the sale of the property for the story I did. The seller stipulated that each occupant be given either six months notice to leave or be compensated for up to three months of housing in lieu, but the university had no intention of following through with that agreement and the tenants had no idea the agreement existed. And it seemed criminal that something so important was essentially out of the reach of the people most in need of knowing about it. I'm not sure I want to be a lawyer, actually, but knowing how lawyers think is definitely an asset."

"So still an investigative journalist at heart," Carmilla said, nodding.

Laura smiled then shrugged her shoulders. "Some things don't change, I guess." She went to got sit at the edge of her bed. "How about you? Did you think you'd be getting a PhD in philosophy?"

"I'm nowhere close to getting it yet," Carmilla said, staring back at the frame. She turned back to Laura and leaned against the small desk. "The truth is I don't know what to do, so I just kept doing what I had been doing. It's gotten me pretty far so to this point, but let's see if I can ever find employment."

Laura laughed. It was an anxiety she understood all too well. 

"Hey, so, I don't know what your plans are for the rest of the night, but do you want to stay and watch a movie? Or I think Danny has Battleship if you'd rather play a game."

Carmilla laughed. "Battleship? You've got to work on your pitch, Cupcake."

Laura blushed as she nervously waited for Carmilla's reply. 

"I kind of thought we'd be hanging out the whole night anyway," Carmilla said. 

"Yeah, well, I didn't want to assume," Laura said stupidly. At least she thought it was stupid. 

"But I think I have a better idea than Battleship if you're up for a surprise and don't mind the chill of a fall night," Carmilla suggested, her left eyebrow raised for dramatic effect. 

"What do you have in mind?"

"It's a surprise. But dress warmly. I'll meet you back here in about thirty minutes?"

"You're leaving?" Laura asked, confused. She didn't want Carmilla to leave. It would ruin the vibe they had and she was really liking the vibe. 

"I need to add a few layers," Carmilla said, gesturing to her body with her hands, "and make one stop before I come back." 

"Yeah, okay," Laura said, but she wasn't sure she was okay. 

But Carmilla just smiled and walked out of Laura's room. "I'll be back," she said with a smile before she fully disappeared. 

—-

Carmilla returned as she promised about thirty minutes later. She'd traded her leather jacket for an dark army green coat that looked much warmer with a scarf tucked inside around her neck and black beanie on top of her head. She looked so un-Carmilla like in that moment, but Laura thought she looked perfect. 

"Ready?" she asked.

Laura grabbed her coat from the front closet, along with her own hat and scarf. "I think so."

Carmilla drove them to the outskirts of town, along a dark country road. The university was basically the entire town—so much so that the summer break turned it into a ghost town. Most of the town inhabitants were students or young professors, while many of the townies lived on the periphery in a more rural area. Carmilla didn't venture very far outside the town, but it was far enough that neighbors were a good two-minute walk away. And about five minutes after they left the small town, Carmilla pulled into a long driveway to what appeared to be an abandoned home. Laura started to panic. 

"Um, we're not trespassing, are we?" she asked. "Because I saw the For Sale sign as we pulled in, and I know you don't live here."

Carmilla answered by rolling her eyes. She grabbed some items from her trunk and when Laura still hadn't moved, she opened the passenger door and asked, "Are you coming?"

That didn't answer Laura's question, but her curiosity won out. She followed Carmilla around the side of the house to the backyard. She didn't understand how Carmilla moved around so confidently in the dark, as it was basically pitch black out there, but when they moved to the back of the house, Carmilla turned on the flashlight on her phone, which she pointed to the house. 

Laura watched as Carmilla fiddled with the knob on the back door until she got it open and reached in to turn a light switch on. Laura had been too panicked about trespassing and breaking and entering to be comfortable with whatever was happening to look around at the space the light revealed. She watched as Carmilla walked away from the house to set her things on a nearby table. 

"Are you just going to stand there?" she asked Laura, who still hadn't moved. 

"Where are we?" she finally asked. 

"My house. Or at least it used to be my house. I haven't lived here for years and my mom's trying to sell it."

Laura let out a breath and shook her head, laughing quietly to herself before she made her way over to Carmilla. 

"Why are you laughing?" Carmilla asked, uncovering an outdoor sofa on the patio where they stood. 

Laura shook her head. "I thought we were breaking and entering," she said, laughing at how stupid it sounded now. 

"Nothing so exciting, I'm afraid." She handed Laura a blanket. "Wait here. I have to go graba couple of things from the trunk."

Laura allowed herself a quick look around. The patio where she stood was built to impress and entertain, with a built in barbecue, bar, and service station. The furniture circled around a bonfire pit in the middle of the patio. She couldn't imagine Lilita Morgan throwing backyard barbecue parties, but she supposed anything was possible. 

Carmilla returned with a bundle of wood, which she set down on one of the still-covered chairs and grabbed a knife from the bag that held the blanket. She used the knife the rip open the bundle and then filled the pit with the wood. 

"It's probably one of the last nights of the year we'll be able to do this," Carmilla finally said as she crumpled up some newspaper which she placed in and around the wood. "And it's probably the last chance I'll get to use this patio," she observed.

"So we're just going to sit by a fire?" Laura asked. She didn't hate the idea, but she didn't understand it. 

"No. We're here for dessert—and to sit and enjoy a fire."

"What's for dessert?" 

Carmilla didn't say anything, but she pointed to the bag, inviting Laura to take a peek. 

"Smores?" Laura asked. She couldn't contain the giant smile that broke across her face if she tried. 

Carmilla just shrugged her shoulders before returning to the bonfire pit where she lit a small piece of wood and worked her way around to light the newspaper pieces. Laura watched her, mesmerized by her movement, her concentration, her confidence, everything. She was nothing how Laura thought she'd be that first night she'd met her. She was smart, funny, introspective, surprisingly athletic, and she could play the piano so beautifully it had brought Laura to tears. Laura felt special that, despite how rudely she treated her that first night and despite the fact that she made it really difficult for Carmilla to be her friend, she was still there with her, spending her  Saturday night building a fire so that their night could continue just the two of them. The gesture in any other context would have been romantic—probably the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her, but their relationship wasn't like that and Carmilla had respected her decision about not wanting anything more and had never once pressured her, and, Ugh, Laura thought to herself. Why'd she have to be perfect?

Carmilla was smirking at her when she brought her eyes to meet hers. Her stomach dropped. She didn't just say that out loud, did she? Carmilla was looking at her like she'd said something she shouldn't have. 

"Huh?" Laura asked. She thought it better to play dumb than risk saying anything she shouldn't. 

Carmilla's smirk grew. "I asked what you thought of the fire," she said holding her arms out to the fire. 

Laura breathed in relief that she hadn't just told Carmilla she was perfect. "It looks great," she said sincerely. "When can I start making smores?"

Carmilla rolled her eyes but smiled. "Let me get the roasting sticks." She walked back to the garage, disappearing somewhere inside and returned with the two fanciest marshmallow roasting poles she'd ever seen. Laura had only ever used a pulled-apart wire hanger. Then Carmilla grabbed the rest of the smores supplies and placed them on the small end table between the sofa and another chair and sat down. Laura joined her on the couch, extending the blanket so that it draped over both of their legs. 

Laura stuck a few marshmallows through the tip of her stick and stuck it expertly at the tip of the fire. She preferred a slow roast, where the marshmallow showed small brown spots, rather than a full-on char. 

"Aren't you going to make one?" she asked when she noticed Carmilla just sat watching her rotate her stick. 

"Maybe later."

Laura shrugged and focused on her task. The marshmallow on the tip was cooking faster than the other two and she would need to build her smore soon. 

Carmilla, sensing her dilemma, began opening the box of graham crackers and broke one in half. Then, she grabbed the chocolate bar and broke a piece off before placing it on one of the cracker halves. She held the two crackers up for whenever Laura was ready. Laura smiled, then she grabbed the cracker without the chocolate and used it to help her slide the marshmallows over the chocolate covered cracker in Carmilla's hand before she topped it and stole a piece in her mouth.

Laura moaned as she tasted her food, and then laughed when Carmilla looked at her, eyebrows up by her hairline. She was enjoying her smore too much to be embarrassed by the noise she'd made. 

"It's the middle of the term," Carmilla said while Laura was still eating her smore. "I'm kind of surprised you're not freaking out about your coursework."

"Who says I'm not freaking out about it?" she said before taking the last bite of her dessert. 

"And yet you're spending your night with me after dedicating your  Friday night to the Halloween party. Two social nights in row must be some sort of record for you or something," Carmilla teased. 

Laura took in a deep breath thinking of her answer. "I'm trying a new approach," she said. 

"A new approach?" 

"Yeah. It has been pointed out to me by a few of my friends that I need greater work-life balance in my life, so I'm trying it out."

"Work-life balance?"

Laura rolled her eyes at Carmilla's smirk. 

"All work and no play makes Laura a dull girl?" Carmilla added when she hadn't said anything. 

"Something like that."

Laura sat back, deciding the a little while before making her second smore because there would definitely be a second smore, but it didn't feel right in that moment, when it seemed as if the conversation was taking a turn towards where she simultaneously wanted and didn't want it to go. 

"And you're choosing to spend your time with me," Carmilla noted. "I feel like I should win a medal for that or something. Laura Hollis has chosen to spend her valuable free time with me."

"You're basically my best friend," Laura said. "Of course I'd want to hang out with you." She hadn't realized until the moment it came out of her mouth that it was true. It didn't explain the entirely of what she felt about Carmilla but it wasn't any less true. 

Carmilla didn't respond right away and she wasn't looking at Laura. Laura began to think she'd said something wrong until she finally did speak. "I'm not sure I've had a best friend since, well, maybe ever, unless you count my step sister, but she lives in Paris."

Laura's brow furrowed and she looked over at Carmilla. "What about Elsie?"

"Elsie and I had a lot of fun together, but our friendship was never anything deep or meaningful. We didn't talk about serious things. I like her and we've kept in touch sporadically over the years, but she's not someone I couldn't imagine my life without."

"You told her about me," Laura said. 

Carmilla laughed. "Yeah, I thought she'd enjoy a story about me waking up in a gorgeous girl's bed without having hooked up. Bonus points because the girl hated my guts."

"I didn't—" Laura started. 

"I know. We've already gone over that," Carmilla said. She shifted and turned her body ninety degrees, bringing her knee up onto the sofa so she could fully face Laura. "And I'm trying so hard to be that friend for you, but..." She paused, then swallowed, and looked so briefly at Laura's lips that Laura wasn't convinced it actually happened. 

"But what?" Laura's voice cracked a bit and her heart was pounding in her chest. 

Carmilla looked her directly in eyes. She opened her mouth like she was about to say something but then closed it and shook her head again. "It's nothing," she said.

"But what?" Laura repeated. 

Carmilla stared at Laura, not speaking. How much time passed she couldn't know. It felt like forever as she watched Carmilla battle over what to say. 

"You know, there are few people I really connect with. I don't have many friends and the ones I do have I'm not particularly close to," Carmilla began. "And then you came into my life and it was just there—this spark, first in the form of dislike," she said, smiling, "but then it became this genuine connection, and I really love being your friend. But," she said, taking a loud breath, "but there are so few people I really connect with, you know?" she said, repeating herself. "And try as I might—and I'm trying so hard—I'm drawn to you like a moth to a fucking flame. And I can't help but think that you and I are somehow fated in the stars or something." She laughed at herself, humorlessly. "God, I probably sound so stupid to you," she said. 

Laura willed herself to say something because she knew, or thought she knew, where this conversation was headed and she needed Carmilla to understand. 

"And I know you just want us to be friends," Carmilla continued, "but it's so hard being around you and not wanting to touch you or—"

Whatever Carmilla was going to say next was cut off by Laura's mouth. It wasn't pretty, this kiss. Laura knew as much, but she needed Carmilla to stop talking and she couldn't summon words to come out of her mouth, so this was Plan B. It was actually really awkward, the way she caught Carmilla's mouth, already partially open and for what felt like a long moment frozen against hers. But Laura was persistent—she didn't know what else to do and she figured Carmilla hadn't shoved her off yet, so she carried on. 

And then suddenly everything changed. Everything got really good because Carmilla's mouth was now dancing with hers and her hands gripped onto Laura's arms, and Laura felt the effects of the reverberating throughout her body. It felt good; it felt right, but it didn't feel enough. Emboldened by Carmilla's reciprocation, Laura moved to deepen the kiss, moving her tongue smoothly into Carmilla's mouth until it found Carmilla's while her hands wove their way through Carmilla's hair, causing her hat to fall off. They kissed and it felt right. It felt like everything in Laura's life was leading up to this exact moment. She had never been more sure of herself. 

And then, far too quickly, it was over. Carmilla had pushed her away, each fighting for breath.

"I'm sorry," Carmilla said. "I shouldn't have—"

"Don't you dare apologize," Laura interrupted."Don't you dare take this away from me," she added, a slight smirk on her lips this time. 

Carmilla looked contrite but also confused. 

"I kissed you, Carm. You have nothing to apologize for," she stated. "This may the greatest accomplishment in my life, kissing you. I can't have you taking credit for it."

"But I thought... You said..." Carmilla looked flushed. Confused, but flushed. 

"I didn't know for sure until last night," Laura began. "It's been on my mind for a while, but it all made sense for me last night. You were talking to Sarah Jane and, I don't know, the way you smiled at her, I was so jealous—"

"You shouldn't have been," Carmilla said, shaking her head. 

"That's hardly the point," Laura admitted. "The point is I was jealous. The thought of you with her—the thought of you with any girl—made me sick." 

She paused to take a breath, and Carmilla's attention was focused solely on hers. "I don't have time for a relationship," she said as she watched Carmilla deflate. "But then who does, really? And I can't let the possibility of you vanish because I refuse to try to let it happen either. I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I didn't give you and me a shot." She paused and took a breath. "Because you’re right. You and I could be great together."

Carmilla smiled started slowly on one side before breaking into a full-on grin. She nodded once, took a deep breath, and then nodded again. "So what now?" she asked. 

Laura didn't answer. She just stared across at Carmilla, matching her smile. And then, without thinking too much about it, she leaned back in to resume their kissing because she was pretty sure that's the only thing she wanted to ever again anyway. She smiled when she realized Carmilla had started leaning in towards her as well. And when their lips met, as cliched as Laura knew it was, the world ceased to exist. 

They kissed until the fire died down and Carmilla began to shiver. "I've wanted to do this since the moment I saw you," she said with her forehead pressed against Laura's. 

Laura laughed in that light, airy, disbelieving way that's somewhat close to scoff. 

Carmilla silenced her with a short kiss then whispered, "It's true. And embarrassing. School girl crushes really cramp my style."

Laura really laughed this time and then asked, "You want to get out of here?" 

The implication about what wasn't said but was explicitly implied did not slip Carmilla's notice. She raised her eyebrow asking a question, begging for confirmation. Laura nodded. 

Carmilla stood and threw the smores supplies in the plastic bag they'd arrived in and tucked the blanket under her arm unfolded. "I can come back and clean the rest of this tomorrow," she said. "Your place?"

"Danny is out of town for the night," she answered in agreement, unable to hide the smirk on her face. 

—-

They really didn't speak the entire drive back and they definitely had better things to do with their mouths when Laura unlocked her front door. Laura backed Carmilla through the living room towards her bedroom, each taking moments between explosive kisses to discard bits of clothing on the floor on their way, so that by the time Laura shoved Carmilla onto her bed, Carmilla wore only her bra and an unbuttoned pair of jeans. Laura's pants had not survived the short journey and her shirt was mostly unbuttoned except for one stubborn holdout. She really regretted wearing the thermal top underneath her flannel because that needed to go too. 

The smiled shyly at each other in that short moment when their brains caught up to what was happening. It lasted as long as lightening and then Laura just grabbed both her shirts and pulled them over her head, button be damned, while Carmilla pushed down her pants just in time for Laura to join her on the bed, smiling as leaned in to find Carmilla's lips again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap on this one, folks! Thanks for reading! A special shoutout to anyone who left me a comment. You brought smiles to my face.
> 
> As for the ending... I KNOW, OKAY! Trust me, I have a draft where I take it further, but it didn't work. This felt like the natural end. Truthfully, I had originally intended to end it after the game night, when Carmilla walks Laura home, so you got more than I'd originally planned. I know that's little consolation. I'm sorry.
> 
> Hopefully I'll be back with something. Just need to come up with an idea.

**Author's Note:**

> The fan fiction quote comes from a Spashley story that changed my life, [Today I Met the Girl I'm Going To Marry](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5853220/1/Today-I-Met-The-Girl-I-m-Going-To-Marry). Spashley will always be my OTP of OTPs, so if you haven't seen South of Nowhere go do that instead of reading my story.


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